{{this}} moment. here. now.

what a week! spring break with my boy, which has been really good. life. making plans for new projects and artwork and stoles to create. piecing together my life-work-motherhood-ministry quilt in slow, meaningful ways. carving space for quiet. space for organizing. space for weeding.

listening to the voice within telling me when to speak up and when to keep silent. what is mine to carry and what is not mine to carry. listening to wisdom whisper when to take risks ((and sometimes being the bold she-creature that says YES!)).

thinking of folks who are suffering or witnessing others suffer. a mama whose heart needs to be with her newborn only to be in the hospital healing from trauma. a father watching it all, whose heart is holding so much just as his hands hold his newborn daughter. thinking of a sweet, sweet one who lost her mama last week to cancer. my heart breaks for these two. oh, what a week.

laughter and tears. witnessing beauty and pain. being taken for who i am, and completely mis-understood and mis-interpreted. it's all in the bowl, my dears. it's all in life's bowl.

through it all: thankful. hopeful. aiming to be brave and kind. aiming to show myself and others kindness, modeling it for my sweet boy. soon to model kindness and love and truth and life to my dear girl.

thankful. hopeful. aiming to be brave and kind. aiming to show myself and others kindness. known and unknown, leaning into both spaces.

embracing life as it is in this moment. in the stillness. in the silliness. in the joy and bravery of it all. hoping. waiting. participating.

hello, lovely you. may your evening and your day be ever so filled with love. filled with thanks. filled with hope. xo.

new wisdom cards in the shop!

love well. love big.

notice life's rainbows.

...so many more coming soon!

xo. 

suzanne

life. {{these days.}}

{{these days.}}  marking today with a few words and numbers that have significance these days.

23 weeks pregnant at this moment.  lecuring the 5th of 6 Mondays during Lent tomorrow.  completing 5 of 7 paraments for Easter for a lovely local Episcopal church.  working on new art :: wisdom cards as bereavement care, woodland love, and new write your own wisdom cards.

we're creating space in our home. breathing room as some say.  and it's feeling good, though we've just begun.  i find myself tired after a full day of sorting, moving, and lifting.  needing to slow the pace and know where my limits are these days.

my time as a part time short term chaplain ends this month, and i'm celebrating and grieving.  it's been a good, good time, filled with good people.  i am thankful and grateful.  i have new words and stories to share.  new themes to build upon for retreats and gatherings.  oh, that feels good.

my mind is opening with thoughts of spring.  buds and blooms.  i'm loving our dear sweet daffodils that hold such bursts of color.  thankful for each.  spending good time in the garden getting it ready.  seeds soon to be planted.  some really need starting now!  and i'm excited for all that is in store.  so much life springing forth.  the birds are getting so chatty.  you can't help but be called into their song, forgetting what you were doing.  they capture me in a way that is so good, so stilling.

i'm cooking, too.  eager to try a few new recipes, though  happy to have tried-and-true dishes that bring comfort and care for their whole food goodness.  even now a pot of black beans simmers on the stove to become two dishes that will feed us well.

mothering continues as i love on my boy of 7 years and celebrate this 8th year of motherhood with a new one growing within.  my boy shares so many conversations about his new sister to come, stomps a bit when frustrated, and continues to open my eyes to wonder and make me laugh, laugh, laugh.  i'm stretched in these mothering days.  i am certainly growing.

here.  these days.  i'm thankful for spaces to create beauty with a few words and images.  i'm thankful for you and our journey here together.  now to make a cup of tea, cook my boy some ramen, and add the final touches to tomorrow's lecture on Holy Pause: The Spirituality of Rest.

peace to you. deep peace.  greening peace.  

xo.

some days are pure magic.

some days are just magical.  today was one.  

this photo of peacocks were taken at maymont park in richmond, va back in april. 

 these days i feel as though my plume is coming to be.  is becoming. 

each day is filled with color.  

each day is an opportunity to earn my feathers, 

seeing hopes and dreams come to life.  

showing. up. 

listening. 

sacred stories. 

the sound of breathing. 

sharing. 

stories.  sacred stories. 

space. sacred space.

receiving. 

a good, good meal prepared by a friend. 

a soul sister who will pick up and care for my boy.

magic dust. 

it. is. so. good.  

the unfolding continues.  

((have i shared about unfolding?  i feel like we're at the table together, yet there's so much more to talk about than we have time for.  soon.  soon.  time for a fresh mug and a sit together.))

this is art. life.

a few photos from a week ago.  

yes. it takes me that long to download from my canon.  

and i don't mind. 

even when withering. 

there's beauty here. 

harvest + bounty. 

biscuits + blackberry jelly (2012). 

these moments of quiet.  life. as is.  

the art of daily living.  

xo.

my creative tribe.

whew.

some of us in the tribe talk about being energized these days.  some of us look to be in a daze, moving from place to place.  we squeeze in every bit of togetherness we can in those quick morning and afternoon school routines.  we grab hold of that embrace and allow it to soak in, deep.

we look into each other's eyes and see the fatigue.  we see the busy working for ourselves and others look as we smile. that tired, i know you got this, smile.  that, oh, i love you, smile.  that, i see you and you are beautiful as you are, smile.

so much of the pace is our own making.  and so we're off!  running. skipping. jumping. sitting. dashing. shopping. cooking.  cleaning. gardening. showering.

no complaints.
grateful.
present.

loving.

sitting in the studio checking off some of the get-it-done list.  breathing in the space between projects to mark this moment.  ever so present to this moment.

watching the rain fall.  and it feels good.  the semi-dark and the light.

my creative tribe and i will gather in this space and in other spaces of our lives.  we're looking forward to sharing that goodness of being good for eachother.  being good to eachother.  being present as we are.  welcoming the soul.

on putting my heart out there.

on matters of the heart.  oh, my.  i'm not equipped to say much about this as a whole.  yet i'm ever so experienced in dealing with my own heart.

saying that, i'm so-so about following my heart.  at times i pull together all the will power i have and say to the world: here goes nothing.  i'm putting myself out there fully and moving foward into my call.

i do that in waves.  sometimes it's ankle deep.  sometimes it rushes up to me and washes over me, covering my head.

here goes nothing.

i've been writing.  a book.  i'm in the proposal stage of what i believe will become a book.  one.  then another.  ((since i'm going to be investing time into writing two! maybe three overlapping.))  

it's a project that's spanned the last few years.  the vision of the book has been held for a long time.  a long time.  maybe over 4 years now that i think about it, yet the book it's becoming is going to be good.

good as in: tears come as i write.  that's when i know.  i know there's something there.

my coach has cheered me on.  my tribe's been informed in slow bits and pieces.   i've been living the book through my retreats and gatherings.

and now.  now.  now is the time to honor this creative birth and see her come to be.  to live.  to grow.

oh, my.  my heart is so invested in this.  yet i keep myself from the shores.  i walk away sometimes, toward the sand dunes and i find myself thirsting for what i know is within that is calling to be born.

so.  my schedule looks different.  even the folks i surround myself are a bit different.  in fact, i'm opening myself up more!  can you believe that?  counter-intuitive to some, yet... what i need.  i'm partnering more and finding myself becoming more and more whole.

my life partner, my love, gives me the best of the best.  my love's space in my life is that unparalled.  he's my greatest champion and hero.  we're in this together.

likewise, my soulsisters are present.  my tribe is forming to a point of greatest gratitude.  i'm opening our home and the studio more and more to folks to gather.  my heart is becoming a meeting place for others.

i'm putting my heart out here, too.  i need space to write.  i need affirmations and encouragement.  and i need to just. write.

to sit.

to listen.

to trust.

and write.  write from my heart.  write for my heart.  and to know i'm enveloped by the waves of wisdom. and that it. is good.

so.  my heart.  is here.  between the words.  in the words.   i know my style is my own and i own that.  there's goodness in the work i do with others.  i'm the last to acknowledge that truth.  yet. my heart has told me.  i must own it.  i must know it.  and i must write so that goodness can be shared beyond my table to include yours.

ah.  trust.  nothing to lose.  yet if i do not sit.  and write.  my heart will lose.

be brave and kind. soulsisters. an invitation to you.

there's something really magical about this message. there's something magical about the color and the life that encircles this wisdom.  there's something really meaningful, too.  

for so long, i've wanted to be brave.  i've longed for the space to show bravery. bravery.  a badge of courage and strength and resilience.  bravery in the face of some really sad stuff.  bravery when watching a 6 year old's friendly high five rejected again and again.  bravery to speak truth in the face of silence.  bravery to name what is unsettling.  bravery to be me. 

as patience and i embarked on the soulsister collaboration we sat at the table and shared food ((when we could remember to eat)) because just sitting together fed us.  just sharing stories of our lives and hopes and dreams fed us.  bravery.  it's a brave act to step into a collaborative space. it's brave to share your soul with another human being and to receive their soul's sharing as a gift. it's bravery to lean into your truth and live your call.  it's bravery to listen daily for wisdom and to speak it through a pen and paintbrush.  

patience told me about her need for and love of the words be brave and kind.  i listened.  and then i carried these words with me. night and day. i carried the words in my pocket. and i listened.  listening for the words to speak their truth in life.  i heard.  pen and paintbrush in hand. 

be brave and kind. 

a daily practice. 

do you have it figured out?  me either.  and that's o.k.  

life welcomes the practice.  life is.  life is full of crazy.  life is full of loss.  life is full of joy.  life is full. 

we make space for one another.  as we gather together at the studio table to create, folks share stories of their lives and i see their bravery. i see their kindness.  i learn from each of you what it means to be brave and kind.  i celebrate.  my spirit soars with appreciation as i am reminded again and again that bravery is here. in this breath.  in this step.  in these words.  

we are on a shared journey.  i'm thankful to be traveling alongside some amazing folks.  the tribe is forming.  ((echoing in the fibers of my being.))  with each new day that i'm able to hear a new story i am thankful.  what a gift!  thank you for sharing your soul.  your story.  your piece of the journey by stepping into your creativity and loving yourself well.  thank you for wrapping yourself in kindness and then sharing your kindness with others.  thank you ahead of time for participating in this endeavor!  i am humbled. and grateful.  

the community is linking hands.  join your hands to ours and send your image with be brave and kind whether you purchase the print or handwrite or draw your own sign and send it to patience@kindnessgirl.com.  gather with us.  


and visit patience's blog to comment for a chance to receive a 5x5 print before tomorrow at 11 p.m.  you can visit the shop for the assortment of soulsister goodness as well as the full line of silver tree art goods.  i'm amazed by the graduation and teacher gift love.  each of these are so brave and kind.  entering the world with knowledge, sharing what they know.  

join us...

xo.

believing in goodness.

believing in goodness.

listening to each encounter.  

looking at the world and appreciating the beauty that surrounds.  

taking seriously the faces of others met along the way.  

sharing stories.  

speaking truth.  

attempting to be present to those i am called.

being present to those i call near.  

welcoming wisdom.

celebrating our tribes.

witnessing wonderful women.

loving my self.

believing in goodness. 

looking up. 

looking around.  

giving thanks. 

xo.

life stories: stand in the light of your truth.

standing in the light of my truth.  i love tonic water with lime.
it's cool, crisp and refreshing.
my memories return to summer and this leo heart is calmed.

i also see i need to repaint my nails.  this polish has been with me the longest, is the smelliest and thickest polish i own.  let's say, this is the last i'll be wearing it and i've loved its golden shade.

standing in the light of my truth: i love to cook. i love eating good, whole foods.  sunday night's preparation to begin eating monday:  wild rice casserole from heidi swanson's  

Super Natural Every Day: Well-loved Recipes from My Natural Foods Kitchen

and i love friends who share from their abundnace to meet needs.  a dear soul provided my family with a brand new cuisinard blender.  i will praise this delightful person again and again, sending blessing each time i use this fantastic tool.  hummus made for our family's lunches this week.

a bit of wisdom with for called to create as i aim to live into this call daily.

standing in the light of my truth.  ((all of these images were taken on monday, 1.16.2012.
 a day filled with friends, good food, and great care.))



a pot of rose hip tea steeping for a long while to provide my sweet boy with exactly what he needs in {{this}} moment.  he's got the crud and is spending a day by my side.  a day of rest.  a day of renewal.

may we each have exactly what we need in our cup, pot, or bowl.
may we find and create spaces of rest and renewal.
may we find and stand in the light of our truth.

xo. suzanne

life stories: a weekend in images.

morning light through the kitchen window.  i love, love that color so loud 

pointed out the green inside and outside the window.  

((notice my boy's concoction in the spice jar, too.  

green water. he loves creating, too.  

especially fun experiments!))

a gentle reminder in chalk on a freshly painted chalkboard surface.  

finally leaning into the full spaces of our home, 

seeing some parts come to be just the way i want.  

other spaces getting just enough love to  settle in. 

dusting and straightening.  altering the design just so.  

lighting a candle. sending forth wishes. 

creating a space to dwell. adding a bit more flare mixing up the art on the walls. 

 ((loving this chair given to us by my love's grandparents.  

we are lucky to have such an heirloom in our home.))  

this is a perfect space to sit.  to think.  to write. to sip.  to read.  to witness.  to love. 

standing still to look at the fading afternoon light.  beholding my first piece of stained glass. remembering the class taught by a friend in a church i was serving.  

i love the connection and story that's within this image

containing my favorite color story. aaah.

the colors of my day: 1.13.2012

the colors of my day: 1.13.2012.

life stories: beauty.

a stream at the end of a solo trail run.  not alone, but with a canine friend.  gathering my resources for the week ahead, there's nothing like the canopy of trees and light that fills my senses with delight.  the stillness & comfort of nature's heartbeat.  i try to start each week in such a way.  

this. 

is. 

a.

gift.

pure delight!

i completely fell over in love with these colorful star lights in a shop window in ashville.  ashville is such a lively, wonderful city.  i love, love going so much that i need to apply to an art show or find a retreat to lead so that i can go again soon!  

lovely.  so lovely.

reflections in {this} moment: the path.

rooting myself in this spot.  

taking root. loving.  

sharing stories.  living well.  

seeking my wholeness.  

sharing my light.  

standing in the light of my truth. 

centered. 

finding my wholeness.

whole.  

delighting in life.  

loving well. 

sending cards. handwritten with love. 

making art.  embracing color. 

enjoying.  

swinging. listening. 

seeking creative space.  

creating space.

seeking the sacred.  

graced. 

humble. 

true.

telling truth.

naming. sharing from the source.

blessed.  

receiving the friends who love. 

sending love.  

blessing others. 

grateful.  so, so grateful.

a service of remembering: papaw's memorial service.

my paternal grandfather was a colorful man.  he died not remembering who i was.
he died the day after his 83rd birthday in his sleep back in december.
he wanted to go and be with his mother, a woman i loved fiercely as a child.

 he worked for 43 years as a truck driver.  he loved trucks.

he attended many baseball games and football games.
he loved MSU (mississippi state university bulldogs).

he was police in the MS national guard for over 30 years.  he loved america.



july 4th weekend was a good time to plan for family to gather
and to hold his memorial service & burial.  so, we did seven months after he died.

at his memorial service the national guard color guard played taps.
they shot weapons.
they presented a flag.

his ashes, along with his two pets were laid to rest in a truck toolbox ((new)) that held mementos from family, MSU items, and other significant pieces that marked his life loves.  there's a time capsule of stories surrounding him.

we watched and listened as a psalm was read.  

((i believe it was a psalm... but that memory is no longer with me.))

and we buried him.  using shovels we lifted the dirt and poured it on the truck box, buried beneath the red mississippi soil in the cemetery between his oldest son & his father, my papaw rests.

we will remember.  my sweet boy will remember.  as we dig in the dirt, we will remember.  as we see another grave dug, we will remember.  we honor those we love that die.  we honor them with tears and with laughter.  with song and with story.  with fireworks and with watermelon.  we honor them by showing up when we can.  we honor them by remembering.  remembering what is good.  forgiving what  we might have hoped for but couldn't receive through their hands.  we reach out to those still living and show comfort. we share the tears and the laughter because we know this place, this grieving remembering place.  we hurt because we love.  we love because we are made to do so.  and we can certainly love well.

my papaw was honored colorfully and wonderfully for his life and his presence in the world.

 it was a good service.  

it was a good burial.  

it was good because it was just so.

life story: marking moments.

life's full of marking moments.  today is no different.  

sometimes it's in celebration of life, of birth, of memory.  sometimes it's to allow the tears to flow after an uphill climb.  you've reached the top of the mountain and you plant your flag into the soil.  i've reflected on such moments for some time and cannot help but create such a ritual to share through my art. 

hearts, stars, and circles (not pictured) on a stick.  these are the flags that can be placed in a jar, on a cupcake, on a cake, or can lean well in a window or altar.   

as i celebrate and grieve my sweet boy's marking moment today, i will carry the memory.  today marks three years of love, care, and growth from the amazing folks at his day school.  he's growing up.  today marks such growth and life.  i celebrate and i breathe in the memory of it all.  

i will remember in my own ways.  he will, too.  i know this day will carry emotion for each of us.  i hope that in my mothering role i am able to help him to articulate his emotions and carry them well.  may we all do such work in our lives.  

spreading the word: a new site

i am pleased to have created a website that holds links to all the other sites, including this blog. the site is still in process, but i am pleased with the images used, colors chosen, and layout. content may be edited slightly and i'll be uploading reworked media kits with full bio & some highlights from my vita.

what i connect in this post references the previous post as well. creating a site of my own name that essentially recognizes my path, my ministry, and my art causes my inner critic and my elder wisdom to be stimulated. these archetypes have their role. i have learned the value of each as well as the weakness in listening too long to the inner critic and not acting from elder wisdom's voice. so, today i've stirred up the soil and feel as though my previous post is a way of spreading the compost. wow. inner critic & elder wisdom as compost. an interesting thought that i will allow into my conscious mind. i will give that image more thought and energy another time.

in the spaces of silence in this space, i want to try to offer stories of where i am after the silence and in the midst. there is much taking place. sometimes my hands are busy creating. sometimes i'm having tea with a kindred spirit or facilitating a group with remarkable women. sometimes i'm celebrating life with my sweet boy, as i'm reminded to play and take delight in that play whether running with him in circles or sitting close reading or engaged in imaginary play. my time living is a gift. i try to use it well. i've chosen to share some in this space for myself and for you.

with the new site, your feedback is welcomed and appreciated. i'm certain in the head fog of healing that i've mistyped or used an extra comma or two. editing will continue. despite years of striving toward perfection, i now strive toward living well. so i share this work in progress.

life stories: bread making + rest, 2

in the between spaces of playing in the snow, attending worship, being fed, and leading workshops, i admired the beauty surrounding us. i drank it in. having both water and mountains and trees all present in one view does a soul well. my inner well was filled up over the holidays among my loves and my soul friend. my well runs into the roots of my toes, which often soak in the goodness that my feet stand upon. sometimes that goodness is in your company, through your good words, and in the energy of the space surrounding me. here are glimpses of the still, yet moving moments that spoke to my soul through the recent retreat at Montreat.

snow seen on the mountain and lake is so, so lovely.

seeing the flakes fall, wondering how the drive will be. mostly experiencing the wonder of snow fall.

a good mug of ceylon tea at the table with my boy. a morning ritual i've grown accustom.

there's nothing quite like the sun peaking above the mountain, saying "hello" to the day. my eyes reach up to meet the morning with a glance, drinking in this good light.

and there's a sweet boy nearby, enjoying the window seating by the tree decorated with woodland sights + sparkles. enjoying these moments. celebrating such a good time together.