in a moment of quiet.

even in these moments of quiet words are swimming in my mind.

updates for ical.  to-do's needing to add to the get it done list.  ((oh, i do love lists.))
bright ideas.  ((they never stop. thank you, creative spirit!))  a weekly menu to construct and create.  ((and i'll be out almost every night this week.))  a festival to help plan for april. ((go team!))  500 feet of celebration banner to complete before easter.  ((love, love, love.))  so much more.

so. much.

it's exciting!  it's what i want and need.  i need work.  i need to create.  i need the space to grow and thrive.

and yet...

in this moment of quiet i center my focus on one task.  one task and then possibly another.  some times my endless list can feel overwhelming.  my breath quickens.  ((you know exactly what i'm talking about.))  one step.  one focused task encountered and completed.  ((how good that feels!))

making time for...

yoga.  centering.  breathing.  sitting.  listening.

whole again.

sending light and love.
xo.

spreading the word: a new site

i am pleased to have created a website that holds links to all the other sites, including this blog. the site is still in process, but i am pleased with the images used, colors chosen, and layout. content may be edited slightly and i'll be uploading reworked media kits with full bio & some highlights from my vita.

what i connect in this post references the previous post as well. creating a site of my own name that essentially recognizes my path, my ministry, and my art causes my inner critic and my elder wisdom to be stimulated. these archetypes have their role. i have learned the value of each as well as the weakness in listening too long to the inner critic and not acting from elder wisdom's voice. so, today i've stirred up the soil and feel as though my previous post is a way of spreading the compost. wow. inner critic & elder wisdom as compost. an interesting thought that i will allow into my conscious mind. i will give that image more thought and energy another time.

in the spaces of silence in this space, i want to try to offer stories of where i am after the silence and in the midst. there is much taking place. sometimes my hands are busy creating. sometimes i'm having tea with a kindred spirit or facilitating a group with remarkable women. sometimes i'm celebrating life with my sweet boy, as i'm reminded to play and take delight in that play whether running with him in circles or sitting close reading or engaged in imaginary play. my time living is a gift. i try to use it well. i've chosen to share some in this space for myself and for you.

with the new site, your feedback is welcomed and appreciated. i'm certain in the head fog of healing that i've mistyped or used an extra comma or two. editing will continue. despite years of striving toward perfection, i now strive toward living well. so i share this work in progress.

creative love: shop update + friendship

in honor of friendship, kindred spirits, and my soul friend jayme, i've created some fun, lively prints. each of my friends creates sunshine in my life, so it's fitting to see the golds. they encircle me with the birthing waters as some function as creative midwives, a part of the creativity within me coming to life. the colors move from our core out into the world that surrounds us. the world is better because of the good energy, love, and compassion we share for one another. we become better people.

so, as folks think about lovey-dovey hearts and cupids and boxes of chocolate, i think of these lovelies in my life who make me bloom. i'm sure you have a few, too.

and so... each of these are available in my etsy shop as reproduction prints (my first to offer) for $12 each. combined shipping saves $ and you can have a set of three or 5 lovelies that tell your own story of friendships you share. enjoy these. enjoy friends. enjoy this day.

who feeds your soul? who brings life to you? pause and send love their way. breathe deeply, allowing yourself the space to name them, send gratitude for their presence, and feel within your soul what they bring to life.

life stories: the grace of naming

there are days when i can articulate clearly my hopes and my longings. there are days when i can shove off the complaints surrounding me. there are days when the space i occupy is all my own, regardless of what surrounds me.

there are also days where i can get pulled into the whirlpool of other's negativity. where my own complaints become louder in my mind than they should, when i am engaged in self-doubt and stuck in the muck of it all. as a person lives with anxious tendencies, i know that i can suck up all the anxiety that surrounds me in the world and let it reside within me. i know that i will get sick if i do that too much. so, i've attuned myself to be light that surrounds the anxiety, but does not drink it in. i allow myself the space between. i don't avoid the darkness or the dark spaces of thought. i will not be consumed by that darkness.

so i surround myself with beautiful people that care for me. their beauty comes from their ability to see me, to tell truth, to share of themselves. i also care for myself by making art. i create in the midst of grief & loss. i create in spaces of unknowing and anger. i create to relieve anxiety. i breathe in the present and allow what is before me to surround me. i engage my senses and allow myself the space to grieve, to allow sadness to overcome me. i cry when i need to. i love often. and i believe that there is darkness and light. i believe that the darkness isn't always a negative or downtrodden space. it's a space for growth, life, and abundance.

the seed rests in the dark.

so i name what is before me. i celebrate life and what is. i mourn. i grieve. i honor. i name. it's that truth telling that i live in. it's the muck. it's the dirt. it's dusty and lovely and real.

last summer a dear soul told me that my FB statuses are the benedictions for her day. who, me? and others among that conversation echoed her statement. i am honored, but also a bit embarrassed. my shyness turned on and i have held my tongue at times. why? i'm not sure, but i have a sneaking suspicion that the doubt and inner critic took over. i've slowly allowed myself back into saying what i want to say. naming what's before me and what's attune with my spirit. i believe in naming all the way to my toes.

we ground ourselves in naming what's before us. we establish our roots deep as we say to ourselves and the universe: hey, it's me. i'm here. i'm taking root and i'll be writing this year. there will be a lot of words. i'll doubt some, but i'll trust more. i'll write my heart and soul into a new creation and it will be good. i'll be enough. i won't worry about the voice inside that says, "who are you to say such things?" or "what will so-and-so think." instead, i'll say to myself, "hear my words. this is my gift through the steps i've taken until now." and i'll trust my voice. i'll live from the center of my being which is the greatest truth i know. i'll rest well and delight. i'll live well.

there's grace in naming what is true in this moment. there's a space of love and belonging when you hear yourself say out loud what brings delight. there are spaces of truth for each of us. i plan to live well within my own space of truth and life. i plan to listen well as i sit with those who grieve, for i'm called to be a witness. i plan to carve well as i make new prints, for i'm called to create. i plan to love well, for i am called to motherhood. i plan to be. to just be me. in all spaces and every day. just be.

may the spaces that surround you allow you the grace to grow well, to name well, and to live well.

life stories: bright beginnings

i'm always amazed when someone says to me that i've preached a good sermon, that i've spoken well, or told i'm good at what i do. i've heard a bit of this lately, and something of these good words is starting to sink in. i have the intrinsic value. i know what comes from my hands is good and that the process works within me.

it's a gift, you see, when someone offers these compliments. yet... it's hard for me to hear them, to take them and receive them. so i've made it something of a practice and challenge. first, i say thank you to the one offering the comment. and sometimes they repeat it because i don't know what i reflect to them, but they know i didn't receive it so well. i listen to those words over and again, offering them to myself almost as food. why? because those are never the words that stick with me. i am the one to hang onto the one slightly critical comment of the other rave reviews. i listen to those and give them more weight than should be given.

yet... there is space for bright beginnings. today i celebrate the good work that comes from within. i celebrate that the more i stand in the center of my being, the more i am more whole. i celebrate the recognition of my own life balance, both in the daily rhythm of life and also in the awareness and growth happening within. i celebrate the language i use and the way in which it has come into being over the years. i celebrate that by standing in my sacred center, i influence others. i hear your language changing. i see you take up that creative project and use your hands. i've seen some of you move from complaining to enjoying life. wow. transformations abound. it's quite amazing. i'm proud of you. i'm proud of us.

i celebrate what i know. i recognize the goodness in the work i'm doing, the work we're doing together. i know that as we move forward, move closer to healing, we are healed. i know that as we receive the gifts presented to us, we are given something very special and sacred.

there's a lifetime ahead and i am thankful. so, so thankful. i am reminded today that i need to move forward allowing whatever is emerging from within me to have the space, time, and energy to grow. i need to make the time for that goodness to happen. it just might be my gift to you. i want to treat it well, just as i want to treat you well. i feel this post is an echo of earlier posts, of my voice moving across time, saying something of the same, but with a different sound.

so, thank you for good words. i'm using a few here myself. a toast: cheers to compliments. and a wish: make merry as you look to your sacred center, finding your life balance and balance within you.

may you eat well, create well, and live well this day.

daily bread: good quotes no. 11

You need to claim the events of your life

to make yourself yours.

Anne-Wilson Schaef

life stories: {this moment} stepping into myself

there is power in naming. there is movement within each step, however small.

once upon a time i didn't call myself an artist. during that time i would say i was creative, yes. but mostly i let others name me. i listened to my friends talk about how creative i was and sometimes i was able to say thank you rather than just passively listen to their good words. it was hard to hear. sometimes compliments are.

as i was listening to the shared story of a kindred spirit, i was hearing her struggle with naming herself as an artist. i hear you! her words took me back to the days that i was wavering in my own definition of who i was.

another friend has commented on her desire to be free to just BE, letting go of what others might think of her. to be present in the world without that restraint would be freedom for her.

as i walked this morning, these two conversations met in my reflections. i let my mind wander and i began to remember those voices calling my name as artist before i did. i remember those dear souls who called me a pastor and a preacher before i ever did. their voices and impressions of me made an impact. their voices return to me today as i take one step and another. their voices became midwives to the birthing that was taking shape within me. birthing to say YES to myself, to say YES to the spirit at work within me, to say YES to the presence of something good that is me.

recognizing and naming who we are is a holy task in any moment. i think we need to shed some of the negative notions of how we view ourselves in order to see what's really present. my imagery returns to the concentric circles, moving closer to the sacred center by moving into a deeper understanding of our soul, allowing our spirit freedom and space to grow and to BE.

some days centering takes place around these moments where remembering brings enlightenment in the present. sometimes it takes listening to the good words from others to enable us to name for ourselves what is within us. for me: artist. mother. minister.

as i approach the three year anniversary of this blog, i am reminded again of why i named it reverend artist mother. first, i was completely inspired by a fellow clergy woman whose blog kept ringing in my ears: reverend mother. second, a recognition in who i am called to be. in naming this blog, i named a part of how i identify with myself and work in the world. i named what i couldn't for so long, but needed to type it, speak it, and practice the words. within a sacred circle of voices of young clergy women, who encouraged me as much as the wise ones from many moments in life, i created a space to practice the words. i created this space as a means to move within my remembrances, name within the present, and to share with others in this journey.

often that is what friends and kindred spirits and creativity circles can be about: naming what needs to be named, saying what needs to be said, even if it's just practicing the words to see how they feel, how they fit within the circle of life that surrounds us.

there's wisdom that is present in doubt, believe it or not. i've learned that my inner critic sometimes has something worth hearing. yet there are other moments when it's a bit crippling and unhelpful. we use wisdom to discerning which is which.

there are midwives among us whose words resonate well. there are also some folks who just want to poop all over everything. (forgive me, but it's true.) so we develop the wisdom and presence within ourselves in the moment to take in what is healthy, to release what is not healthy or beneficial, and we move on. we structure our days to bring life balance, joy, gratitude. we encircle those who need care, prayers, and good love. we make do with what we have and we learn to find peace in what is and work toward the dreamy goodness that can be found in other moments.

and we create a sacred circle of kindred spirits to encircle us, folks we know and love and trust. folks that can sometimes be the soft side of velcro and sometimes the rough. i know that i need truth telling and compassion. to see life and death. to know that there is a wide world moving beneath our feet and that the world can be changed with the smallest steps taken on a morning walk.