witnessing beauty and blessing.

our pastor's last sunday with our church is today. i've been filled with emotion and grief. she is amazing, and she will be so good for the church she's moving to as their pastor. she believes in long term pastorates, serving grace for 23+ years. we'll miss her.

yet we won't be lost.

yesterday we had a benefit concert for the soon-to-be-new-to-us organ. our church and the church our pastor is moving to choirs sang together. we sang. they sang. voices joined together in unison, with a common purpose, celebrating the same soul.

the presence of this pastor in our life has been deeply healing for me. for us. there are so many stories of conflict from previous churches. we've found healing with her. what i have come to realize, too, is that we've found healing with each other.

sharing. accepting. receiving.

knowing that we are blessed by her. we bless her. we are blessed by her church-to-be. we bless them.

amazing. i've never heard of two baptist churches who come together and share with one another in such a beautiful way. the experience was moving. the experience will usher moments of healing.

as i sat there, with this sweetpea in my belly rocking about with the music, i thought to myself that the table is set to go and visit their church. to know that door will always be open. anytime. there is no end to relationship here, just the type of relationship.

today i will celebrate. i will grieve. i will know and be known. she will know and be known. she is loved. she is blessed. she is blessing.

sometimes our breath is taken away...

today a friend & chaplain i am continuing work with from the lovely facility i was a short term chaplain shared lunch and planning time. as we were creating a celebration of spring for this week, i found out a resident died recently that i was taking wisdom cards to on thursday. i had mentioned her, not having any idea that she would not be here to receive those cards. her death took everyone by surprise.

two souls who have left work in my hands are gone. this dear woman from Scotland who loved my wisdom cards and had shared a number of them with others can no longer share her kindness and generosity. yet her spirit of generosity lives on. another is a fiery woman who could tell stories like no other. she was one with whom i ministered at a church a few years ago. we've kept up at art events and seeing each other in the neighborhood over the years, delighting when we see each other. a missing earring she thought i may have made ((but that i didn't make)) rests on my desk waiting for inspiration in creating a sister piece.

i've had to catch my breath a few times in a few weeks hearing the news.

in the spirit of these beautiful sister souls... i am doing a couple things in memory of each. for my fiery, spirited friend. a necklace for her teenage daughter who is an artist and amazing young woman left longing for her mother. maybe this small piece of her mom, something she loved, will share a little comfort and love for her. for the zesty, dear woman who bonded with me over my lenten lecture series, i will be giving out 16 wisdom cards.

perhaps you need one of those 16 cards. send me a message of what you need in this moment, or just say "me" in the subject line of an email and your address in the body. i'll go with the spirit and send you what is hopefully exactly what you need. email me at slsvinson {at} me {dot} com.

for those who grieve.

life in ministry includes co-facilitating bereavement support with my colleague and friend Ann Charlescraft.  she and i begin two new support groups today.  if you or someone you know in the greater Richmond area has experienced these losses, please register.  we begin today, but you can join in next week if the time is right for you.  we will gather together, share stories, breathe deeply, and create a safe space togther.  

Widows Support Group, Thursdays, March 8 – April 26, 6 p.m. – 8 p.m.  at Full Circle Grief Center, 10611 Patterson Avenue, Building 201.  Facilitator:  Ann Charlescraft, VCUHS, 804.828.4661 or acharles@vcu.edu     Registration requested.

Mom’s Grief Group (loss of a baby), Thursdays, March 8 – April 19, 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. at Full Circle Grief Center, 10611 Patterson Avenue, Building 201.    Facilitator:  Ann Charlescraft, VCUHS, 804.828.4661 or acharles@vcu.edu     Registration requested.

other upcoming groups offered through the Central VA Beareavement Coalition include: 

LifeNet Health Donor Family Tribute Album Retreat, March 23, 6 p.m. through March 25, 11:30 a.m.  Williamsburg Christian Retreat Center, Williamsburg, VA (www.wcrc.info).   Facilitator:  Tina Pierce, 800.847.7831 ext. 4903 or Christina_Pierce@lifenethealth.org   Registration required.

Crater Community Hospice Grief Support Group, Thursdays , March 22-April 19, 6:30 p.m.-8:00 p.m. at Appomattox Area Health and Wellness Center, 321C Poplar Drive, Petersburg, VA 23805.  Facilitator:  Kara Helbert, 804.892.2782 or karla@karlahelbert.com.  Free of charge. Registration Required.

Grieving Children, Grieving Families, Mondays, March 5 – April 30^th, 6:00 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. at Full Circle Grief Center, 10611 Patterson Avenue, Building 201.   Facilitator:  Allyson Drake, 804.912.2947 or Allyson@fullcirclegc.org,  Registration Required

Adult Support Group, Mondays, March 5 – May 7, 6:30 p.m. – 8 p.m. , Williamsburg United Methodist Church, 500 Jamestown Road, Williamsburg, VA

Widowed Persons Support Group, Tuesdays, March 20-May 22, 7 p.m. – 9 p.m., Bon Air, Registration fee $25 for materials.    Facilitator:  Elaine Nowinski, 804.272.7787 or emnowinski@fastmail.us

motherhood marking moments: {{this}} moment.

tonight i choose to sit for 20 minutes and reflect here as a part of my lenten practice of sitting. in {{this}} moment: i am sitting in a lovely vintage red chair.  a child sized chair in my kitchen.  the lights are low.  i can hear the sounds of my sleeping boys and i know my mother is upstairs resting.  i sit still and feel the muscles in my body tell their story of the day.  i inhale love.  i exhale what i no longer need to carry from this day.

i listen.  i receive.

entering my seventh+ year of motherhood, i am marking this journey.  i am marking {{this}} moment in small, significant ways.  i am reaching into the well within.  i am listening to my truth.  i am celebrating a surprise trip from my mother and delighting in her company.  as she is fully present, i am listening to the whispers within of my beginnings and the lessons she carved into my being.  i'm sitting with these echoes from memory as i share with her the spaces of my own: my studio and our home.

in this moment, i take note that my shirt tells a story of the day.  flour from baking cakes. paint & stray threads from straightening in the studio.  marinara from tonight's pizza.  a ponytail that means business. ((and that my long-awaited haircut is coming within a few days! so glad becky returns to town!)) i look down recognizing that my nails have taken a rest from polish for a few days.  putting on that coat or two or four in the morning will mean that a party is coming!  the big six. oh, my.  my mama heart swells.

i love marking these moments with love and sweat and tears.  there's always that glorious combination of water and salt that comes through with love.  we taste and we drink and we know.  we drink from that well of wisdom within and our bodies react with tearful truths:

we are love.  we love.  

we are known.  we witness.  

i witness my son's life.  i try my best. to make good food. to create good spaces for delight and rest.  i try my best to also remember. to take deep breaths and witness what's taking place.  i also listen. with a short list to finish for the big six, i didn't stop to sit in the floor with him when he asked me to play legos. i will tomorrow.  and the next day.  sometimes the practice of sitting comes surrounded by legos. ((note to self: remember that lesson.))

today. today i mark moments with flour, with salt, and with water.  i mark moments with words. and with fabric. and thread.  i mark moments by becoming still and sitting.  and reflecting.  i mark moments with others beside me whom i love and am so thankful to see in my home.  

today i share from my heart what is true: mothering is one of the greatest gifts in my life.  i am so, so grateful for this child.  i long for my dear, dear, dear ones who have mothering hearts and a strong desire for children of their own.  i cherish my mama friend who just had her second DNC in 7 months, and my heart breaks for her.  i grieve for mamas i know and love who have lost babies, embryos, and children.  ((candles are lit.  prayers uttered.  breaths breathed.  love sent.))

my heart is always filled with their faces, their stories, their hearts.  i mark my own journey and carry them within me just as i am blessed and carried within them.  we carry each other.    

we are known.  we witness.  

we are love.  we love. 

teary?  we mark those moments, too.  there is laughter here.  there is love here.  there are tears, too.  oh, what a dear, wonderful, mysterious, precious, creative life we experience.  

((deep breath.))  sending love.  sending love.  sending love.  

xo.