A Journey with Grief: 7 week Bereavement Support

Another bereavement support group will soon take place in Richmond, VA. I'll be one of the support group facilitators. If you are grieving and would appreciate the support of others who journey with you, please register. The entire support group is free. You come with a willingness to invite healing.

JOIN US FOR . . .

A Journey with Grief

for all who are grieving the loss of a loved one

A Journey with Grief is a non-traditional grief support program including creative expression, education, and small group support sessions. The creative expression component can be experienced as individuals or as family groups. The small group sessions are designed for age groups. The program provides support for preschoolers (3 years old) through adults. The program is free of charge for all participants. A light supper will be served each night at 6 p.m. Group starts at 6:30 p.m.

What: Grief Support (for any loss and any age)

When: Thursdays, Feb 24 – April 7, 6 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.

Where: Offices of the Association for the Support of Children with Cancer (ASK), 5211 Broad Street (near Willow Lawn shopping center), Richmond, VA

Parking: Free

TO REGISTER CONTACT: ANN CHARLESCRAFT, Manager for Bereavement Services, VCU Health System, 804-828-4661 or acharles@vcu.edu

Sponsored by VCU Health System Department of Pastoral Care

life stories: stretching moments

there are moments when stretching takes shape in daily rhythms, like the practice of yoga. where our muscles are stretched, awakened. there's a path that this stretching takes: releasing the muscles aids in bringing me fully into the present. being present to the stretching clears my mind and allows rest and recovery. i am who i am in that moment, fully alive, breathing deeply and sending peace and love through each stretch. (my blonde arm hair looks so, so hairy in this image...but it's really not so hairy...really)

there are other moments where the stretching takes a different shape. where the once stubborn resistance meets a moment of clarity, where reconciliation happens at table over wine, bread, local foods, and dessert shared. where the stretching isn't just about your muscles and mind, but about all the muscles, heart strings, and resistance meeting a letting go. there's a point in stretching where you must release. this stretch as pictured above reached across six years. yes. 6 years. it's one that was met with tears, thankfulness, and gratitude. there's a release where we are each fully present to the moment, even if the moment is a bit surreal at times. even if the moment is all that's known and the future unknown. it's a stretch that's proved to be good for all involved, where reconciliation, love, and gratitude will stretch on, reaching other relationships and providing the necessary spaces for life & healing, in self and others.

sometimes, always, it's a stretch for me to say: i was wrong. but sometimes, often, those stretches bring me fully into the present: binding my heart, mind, body, and soul.

tears bring a creative time to heal

Anne Lamott spoke recently at the 2010 WomanKIND conference in Richmond at St. James Episcopal Church. I've been thinking about the words she used and instead of telling you about her words, I thought I'd share some of her thoughts on crying.

Tonight begins a new bereavement group that I will lead using art as creative expression. Each stroke speaks to healing: the hope to heal from a child's early death to the anger of watching a child suffer through illness. Each moment breathing in each other's stories will be a sacred time, a restoring time. A time to honor and a time to grieve.

As I processed my own emotions over a friend's heart breaking moments in life, I processed through art. I share that image with you in this post, as tears were involved. Tears that turned into song.

Anne Lamott's Thoughts on Crying from WomanKIND 2010. My Notes:

Mother Theresa: We can't all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

Pour into others, trust, & let go. Cry. Breathe.

Crying: is a sacrament. there's a salvation to crying.

We [women] are raised to believe to get over certain losses. You'll never get over all of them. There's not a system of getting over this, though the world thinks so.

Subversive: cry as much and as long as you need to.

Crying & Anger: gives YOU you back.

Water like a plant mister. Will hydrate the ground & your feet. Brings you to your butt & that's where grace is. Advent is a time to grow plants. Seeds, and that's in the dark. We don't know what we're growing.

Face your shadow. Cry your eyes out. Will wash you into where the divine intelligence. It is where/who you really are.

ashes, ashes, we all fall down...

there wasn't much talk of ashes in childhood.  i remember feeling really big when i could scrape the ash into the bucket from my grandparents wood-burning heater, which heats the entire house.  that's about all i knew of ashes, certainly not of any religious use of ashes or deep meaning attributed to wearing them.  ash wednesday has become a very significant pause in the liturgical year.  as i assisted in planning and then helped lead the service at my church, i was given the opportunity i love:  to create meaningful spaces in worship.  as i held my vessel, created during worship as a reflection, and watched the procession to receive their ashes, i honored those i presented with ashes last year, but who are not living this ash wednesday.  i mark my grief for these special people now at peace.  while a chaplain in 2008 working at an assisted living - nursing care - specialized dementia care facility, i walked the building an presented ashes after our service totaling around 300 folks (residents, staff, and family & visitors).  so many people to mark & remind that we are dust and to dust we shall return.  a holy moment.  a treasured moment.  and as barbara said in her sermon last night, lent is a time to give meaning to God and to create meaning in our daily moments -- in new ways.  we already create and attribute meaning in our lives (we hope). during lent, beginning ash wednesday, we seek to structure some new addition to our existing spirituality or new form of devotion into our days so that we create a new way of being.  some choose to give up certain foods--sweets, carbonation, meat, caffeine.  whether you take on a new habit, give up an old habit, or a combination of both, may lent be a reflective time - a time of preparation - a time to pause.  

my first year of seminary, lo those eight years ago, was marked on ash wednesday by a gift from a good friend & professor.  i don't remember the reason for the gift, but i remember the moment.  i remember the mark of that gift.  

tonight our bereavement group gathers to reflect on the too real thought of ashes.  tears, laughter, and a moment marked that forever changes one's life.  

remember that you are a gift, dear reader.  take a deep breath.  mark each moment, some through goodness and sharing and a pause.  

quilt love

over the summer our journey through grief group completed quilt squares for a quilt.  here's the finished piece.  i wish the picture really conveyed the detail and color of this piece.  we're still working on quilting the piece.  we want many hands to stitch it, blessing those who created each square with each stitch.  oh!  i am so impressed with my group.  you ladies are amazing.  

isn't this quilt beautiful?  it was made by church ladies oh-so-many years ago for hubby's grandparents.  i love seeing it hanging on the wall each time i walk upstairs at their home.  this will be inspiration for me as well as the quilts of gee's bend which i saw on another trip to AL in the Mobile art museum.   i'll be posting some quilt projects that i'm creating for young ones, including my own jo.  

i love quilts and the stories they carry.  they are practical and artistic.  some tell stories -- as both of these do.  stories of hope and joy & love and loss.  

peace.