25 February 2010

grounded

i've dreamed of living abroad, having a slower routine with traditions of local markets, bikes, and slow food. i've dreamed of fields fresh lavender, wine from the nearby vineyard, outdoor dining, and lots of green space for my child(ren) to run.

i recognize that the space i create for myself and my family is completely grounded by our feet, by our love, and by our attention. where we plant our feet (or our sitting bones), that's where we are home. we make home "home" because it's the space we occupy & attend to. living here, HERE, we have the advantages of time together, a yard of small green spaces, parks nearby of large green spaces, lavender along our walk, slow foods prepared in love, fresh breads, muffins, cookies, cakes & pies, a sweet garden out back that we each tend, festivities with friends and so, so much more.

i am grounded in reality: what is before me is good and wonderful. i am where i am meant to be in this moment, even if that's not where i'll always be. what i need or use my imagination to conceive is within reach. a life lived loving, grounded in reality, is enough. i occupy a suzanne-sized-space. i am grateful. i am full of the life we live. i am not alone. you are not alone.

each of us are meant to occupy our spaces, filled with love and life and light. i am not here to occupy your space or you to occupy mine. your time is yours to do with what you will. i use my time & energy and focus on what feeds my soul, renews my spirit, and allows me to live in peace, fully whole. grounded by my feet, my attentions, and my love as i pursue the sacred spirit living life creatively. i live in a way that brings wholeness to my self, my soul. there are times i will invite you into my space to be a part of my life. i hope that you'll receive me, the soul in me, and my time as a gift. i'll enjoy being invited into your space, to meet the soul in you, and honor that time as a gift. i am grounded in that truth HERE and NOW. amen.

22 February 2010

kitchen table memories

each day brings something new. my spirit continues to grow and to be fed through the every day arts: through sweeping, baking, cooking, gardening.... i'm so glad to see others who are finding their spirits renewed and delighted through what their hands can create, make, bake, or discover. friends are baking bread, feeding their young new first foods, engaging in play, and creating. oh, it is so welcomed to see and hear what others are bringing into their daily rhythms.

each day brings something new. my routine continues to be refined for this day, this moment. each day that i am able to practice yoga or pilates, to use my hands in preparation of art or to write a letter, i find myself more centered. my mind becomes in focus of the breath and the spirit's breathing within. i am upbeat and focused.

often each day brings something familiar. i mentioned the path of my lent to live into the "long spring days" and to grow something new from within. my discovery of the desire to write to others, making contact with neighbors, creating new rituals is good and will stretch my body in new, loving ways. the familiar voice of the critic seems to be a little louder, trying to be heard. with intention & the daily moment-by-moment practice of mindfulness i will stretch myself into new, loving ways as i learn to silence the inner critic. rather than carry baskets filled with the noise of the inner critic, i will carry baskets filled with what i create: art, love, bread, letters, vegetables from the garden, and inspiration.

sometimes the day calls lost memories like a gift. i keep returning to an image i have of my grandmother, sitting at her kitchen table with the phone in hand. the oven is hot and the stove top is on with simmering pots. she's talking to her friends with the southern blend of community gossip, recipe trading, & stories of family happenings. she has her community within reach and can respond to crisis within seconds. she is well known and well loved. her table is always open to others to drop in from the fields, and the pastor & family are welcomed on sundays. there's a welcome and wisdom at this table. there's a welcome & wisdom in her presence.

the gift that my grandmother gave me after making divinity in home economics in junior high, "if you can make divinity successfully, you can make anything." she taught me to make biscuits, cornbread, apple fritters with her pie crust. i watched as she created endless dishes, worked hard in the garden, collected pecans. she watched from that kitchen window as we fished in one of the ponds. we children were happy little chicks playing around the hen house.

there is something within these lenten days that brings the images of her kitchen table to mind. the memories of her and her hands are filling me as i silence the critic's voice. there's clarity in creating sacred space for new growth. i always connect my grandmother's hands to mine on days that i make pie crust, like today.

there's a desire within me to keep my community close, to respond to crisis within seconds. my community is stretched from the deep south to home in VA to a country an ocean away. the gift of this here internet is good, but a hand written note or piece of art or edible treat sent to them is something better. as i am mindful of my own care, i am mindful of them. i send blessings to each on their lenten journey and spiritual lives rooted in the every day. from sweeping to baking to playing to writing and all the spaces between. i pray a blessing on their hands, and yours, for you are in this community as well even if i don't see your face or know your name. you bless me, just as one of you sent the kindest of remarks in a moment that was appreciated on friday.

and it's sweet to feel that connection through the sharing of good recipes. i see so many online and mark them to return to them, but often through divinity girl, a still life, and others, i can get a taste of what will fit into my rhythm. now i'm the one sitting at the table on the computer saying, "Yes! i have made this recipe and have that cookbook on the wish list. the sticky buns, rolls, and loaf from that recipe made us so happy...and here's what i want to try next." there's an intimacy in food that's so rich and beautiful and of course, tasty. and i love sharing. i get so much energy in sharing and its witness to others.

each day brings something new. these days i can feel the something rising within, a birth taking shape again (metaphorically) where all this good energy, focus, baking, writing, and work is going to become something beautiful. i look forward to the day that i can name that something, but i know that it's connected to both the mindful act of silencing the critic and the mindful practice of living creatively. once named, then i can fill those baskets again and again, sharing them with you, my community.

18 February 2010

reflections on lent

for your lenten fast, add something to your spirituality: deep breathing, meditation, a handwritten letter, an encouragement, speak peace...

there's only so much you can write in 140 characters or less. sometimes, that's all you really need if you have a point to make, a thought to share, or a wish to send into the world.

as i am filled with the words of others from the last week, experiences of yesterday, and the moment of now, i am reaching into the Creative Spirit to deepen my understanding of now. i am reaching into this moment, calling into it something new. my thoughts are centered around lent and how much i love this liturgical season. i do not see it filled with self-denial, but with self. we shed something about the bonds that are surrounding us and moving us into a place of freedom.

for me, i will shed the negative thoughts and the inner critic. those thoughts/conversations with the inner critic keep me from speaking at times while other times dancing around my truth.

each of us are created in light: light to illuminate the darkness of our self-doubt, self-loathing, the questions about our thighs, and the uncertainty of tomorrow. do i hold truth? yes. but there are temptations presented daily to challenge the truths within. we know our truth, we speak our truth, and we hold it in our hands.

i believe that each day of lent that moves us closer to the darkest day of good friday can bring us into illumination from within. we will be the lights that travel that lonely road into the dark. the dark itself isn't "bad" or evil. the dark is good and holy and is where alchemists do their work, where babies are nurtured in womb. the dark is only a space. we are to be the light for ourselves, using the light of the world to illuminate. we are to shed those unwanted pounds of self-doubt, materialism, and greed.

so it's both: giving and receiving. the guest needs the host and the host needs the guest.

as we reach into our daily practice, may we dance within ourselves and take delight in our truth: our center: our very being. as we reach into shedding what we do not need, what hides our truth, let us then turn outside of ourselves and share ourselves with another.

the other side of the coin is to put something back into yourself: to breathe deeply, to write a handwritten note to someone near or far, to speak in kindness, to tell the truth to yourself (you are beautiful, you are good, you are amazing and these hips don't matter), to call a friend just to share your voice, to speak peace to that neighbor or person, to carry something from within your dreams into the open: dance, practice yoga, love deeply, read often, and savor life. any one of these, hey-name your own, can enrich your spiritual practice and deepen the experience of lent (spring). what will spring forth from your truth? what will you share?

grace, peace, and love. let us journey together.


17 February 2010

color amidst winter white


a handmade addition to our home made last night. i love the colors of these fabrics. they tell a lovely color story and say "welcome home" all at once.

16 February 2010

a holy sigh

*SIGH*

i find that i am able to pause more. i am able to breathe deeper and to enjoy the daily movements in life. as a minister the pace picks with Lent's arrival. i've spent more time in the hustle-bustle phase, getting those endorphins from the rushing around and minute-to-minute planning. with tasks in 4 different churches within the next week, it would be very easy to fall into those old patterns of behavior. so instead, i am reminding myself to stop and breathe. *DEEP BREATH* i find myself sighing a holy sigh, *SIGH* one that speaks in prayer & that also allows my voice to come forth.

*DEEP BREATH*

as i sigh i am reminded of the generous moments with the young clergy women almost 2 years ago at our last preaching conference, where we practiced deep breathing, sighing, and speaking from our well within using the Linklater method. i tap into the well. i breathe deep within my stomach, sending oxygen throughout my body. as it turns out, i didn't always breathe fully, which is another story for another day.

as i breathe deeply i can feel my well being fed by the source of light and life. i'm so pleased to have others who feed into the well, offering their rich wisdom which becomes a part of my own. over the past week, i have listened and learned from women in a variety of places & spaces. from coaching to therapy, from worship to comedy, from wisdom of crazy glue to wisdom of healing & wholeness, i am listening. so much affirmation has been given as i pursue wholeness, centering myself around my inner self/divine spark/my light. the echo of each draws my attention into what i am living: that if we operate out of our who we are made to be, we will find delight & grace & peace & wholeness. we will live in wisdom & God's presence. i have devoted my attention, time, and focus to mindfulness, deep breathing, yoga & pilates, creativity, and love. all of these center around the Creator, the Source of Light & Life. i am finding myself healthier, happy, and whole. i do not believe it's all about "being happy" but about being whole. Being wholly me, which sometimes means releasing a holy sigh and accepting the grace that i can be whole.

10 February 2010

winter white valentine preparations


to help my soon-to-be-four-year-old write his classmates names, i quickly made dashed marks on the top of cardstock for his valentine packages. he traced the names with his favorite color: red. (handy color for this particular task & most other holidays) then i cut the names to match our envelopes.

joseph helped choose 2 lollipops for each package & a wooden heart. his handmade valentines are prints of his artwork valentine. he's written his name across the page & used stickers, too.

i folded the name cards & he stapled them on. we have some really cute valentine packages for his class party, provided the weather cooperates friday. what fun!

here are the printable cards i've made for your use (and mine). enjoy!


06 February 2010

something for the ones you love



i've been wanting to add some sweet art that's *free* as a gift from me to you. i benefit from the generosity of others who share their work, and i wanted to give you something to celebrate the big day-of-love coming up, or just any ol' day. there are two ways to share this sweet image, hand cut and designed by me.




the large card download is a jpg card that can be printed on a 8.5 x 11 and folded in half. the mini card download contains a jpg of 9 cards on a 8.5 x 11 piece of paper, even paper from the recycling bin. these are meant to be shared, so print them up and give them out. feel free to spread the word by linking folks here. enjoy!  i've shared these a little differently, so do tell me if the resolution is poo.  xo.

01 February 2010

from friend to friend to friend


my dear friend jayme sent me an email today with a gift that resonates so deeply. a slight difference in our home: we look out the window and see the snow but lit by bright sunlight that only makes everything glow. the sparkling snow has a really lovely quality, and i know when it all melts my plants & bulbs will be rehydrated & fresh. some plants will not look the same, while others will go on. from jayme:
today is st. brigid’s day – 1 feb – in honor of when the celtic goddess/saint welcomed spring and the end of the dark winter. i write this as i look out on the snow in the front yard and grey skies. but today i am aware that warmth, sunshine and green will return soon – little bits leaking out here and there until there’s an explosion of it in a few more weeks.
[from emma to jayme. from jayme to me. from me to you.]

The mustard seed
Is full of possibility
There’s a tree in there
Somewhere

Reach into the sky
Little seed

What possibilities lie dormant in us
Ready to grow into being
When we let go
And open ourselves
To the light of the sun
To the refreshing rain
To the hidden depths of
The mothering earth
Solid beneath us
Yet soft to shelter out sprouting

Reach up to the sky
Let yourself grow
And one day you will
Find the birds of the air
Resting with their heads under their wings
Waking and singing the dawning of hope
Sheltering in your branches
A soft nest
Perhaps
A pale blue speckled egg
Waiting to be born
And to fly

Let yourself be grown
Your life is full of possibility
And you are the seed
You are the bird
And you are also the tree.
- Lotte Webb (wild goose publications)

my heart is ready for the garden to grow. my hands are ready to work within our rich soil and plant good foods that will be served at our table, some eaten while standing in the garden. oh, the thoughts of tomatoes, onions, squash, sweet peas, black beans (remember those magic beans?), and more... for now the plans will be made in my mind's eye and in daydreams. as i look upon the garden in the snow, i see what can grow up, what's hidden underground and in my thoughts.

this poem says so much about my small gardening desires and my larger desires for growth, centering, and helping others to connect the Creative Spirit to their story. we are full of possibility: from the seeds of our gardens to the seeds of our words...we are the seed. we are the bird. we are also the tree.

i love this.