peaceful parenting. a goal. a practice.

image from the labrynth at richmond hill.

10. 

As They Are

When you are with your children
be one with them.
Let every part of your body relax
and become as supple as your child's.
Allow all expectations and anxieties to melt away
so that you can see clearly.
Love them as they are
in this very moment,
without needing to change a thing.

When their lives are filled with trouble
allow events to unfold
without pushing or straining,
and you will understand clearly
what your role should be.

You nourish them without possessing them.
You guide them without controlling them.
You help them without worrying.

The Parent's Tao Te Ching: A New Interpretation. Ancient Advice for Modern Parents. by William Martin.

some days are easier than others to allow all expectations and anxieties to melt away.  to quiet.  to allow expectations and anxieties to dissipate.

today i needed to read this excerpt from The Parent's Tao Te Ching.  and another.  and another.  the others are for me.  you can have them, too, when you need them by grabbing a copy of this great book.

today i need to rest before reacting.  to create space for the quiet in our life to exist before allowing my sweet boy to play on screen.  to create moments where we see each other and know each other just as we have many times before.  to remember that he may be a little anxious with school starting next week and his moment of stomping feet and dramatic words will not last.  he's practicing these moments of foot stomping. they're not perfect and sometimes i giggle.  his feelings get hurt on those occasions.  it's as cute as it is dear and he's practicing.  

after such an occasion he is already cozy in the floor of his room building with legos and will continue to play and play for hours.

today i need reminding that the lists and get-it-done tasks that can wait until next week need to wait.  as excited as i am every day to create art and make plans for a new program year in the studio, i am his mother and we are a gift to one another.

our time together is sacred.
i need to keep it so.

today i need to work, too.  so the balance of time and energy and presence will be good for each of us as he delights in time with his uncle.  which he does: delights.  every. time.

my goal is peaceful parenting.  parenting through my own wholeness.  parenting that's flawed.  true.  pure.  parenting that is good enough as a wise professor and friend says.  i prepare myself for that mothering marking moment to come by holding true to this moment.

and i stop typing.  make a late breakfast for us.  and i will quiet with my coffee.  and i will allow my own insecurities to dissipate.  and we will play.

life stories: in the garden

a few images of stories from the garden in the back of the house. enjoy each image, draw in a deep breath, breathe out from the well of your belly. continue breathing deeply, breathing in light and life and what you need most this moment.

enjoy these images of my stroll yesterday afternoon as you practice breathing deeply. peace to you. peace this moment.

three! still pondering...

your words are so humbling. i know that you're there, but my goodness. i'm truly grateful. as i move into this weekend of sharing my art both through vending the wears and preaching a sermon, i am moving with grateful steps. each action this week allows me to breathe well, with creative others surrounding me. with the completion of each action this week, i breathe deeper, thankful that i move well from one task into the next.

as i move from each task to the next, i want to take care to use words well, to remain focused in the present and to the task at hand. however, it's in the spaces like this week that i am reminded by the wisdom of elmer that i'm to schedule time to prepare myself before the work that's to take place.

so tonight, i sit still. tonight i think of you and this space we share together. i think of all that i want to embody in the sermon on sunday. i think of sharing it with you, even though that makes me a bit nervous. indeed, it does.

i think of my sleeping son, who was sleeping well when i came into his room from vending today. i turned off his lantern and gave him a kiss. there in the space of his room i see the peace that he breathes into his being in a warm, comfort-filled home. i feel the peace that flows through me as i look upon his sweet face.

the normal ebb and flow that takes place for me in motherhood, ministry, and the arts has a different feel this week. i've had great encounters, room for potential partnerships, retreats, and blogging opportunities. i have the incredible space to work with in the new studio & was able to begin round 2 of outfitting the space. i have witnessed joy-filled moments for my sweet boy. i have been challenged to embody a sacred text from scripture and listen to its wisdom in a new way. life is life. it's what we're given. sometimes it's what we name for ourselves, opening our souls up for new experiences.

i'm open to new, but i'm mindful of how much i have said i would do and have yet to finish. so, three years later, i'm still moving. i'm moving forward. yet i do remember promises i've made to myself: to actually WRITE the book i've been talking about for too, too long. to COMPLETE the painted prayer chair curriculum and start producing more of the ministry i offer in a way that others can create the good work in their settings. yes, i do remember a few promises made and i'm determined to fertilize a few in the coming days, which i'm thinking of in the next 6-12 months.

while i'm not goal oriented in traditional ways, i am mindful of my process of sacred centering. as such, i'll model what i hope for each of us, centering on the sacred and what brings us to the center of our being, to our souls. i center on each breath, breathing in peace, breathing out peace. i center on love, the love that surrounds me and the love that radiates from me. i center on creativity, the creativity i have to offer and the creativity that can emanate from others with introductions. i center on story, and good stories at that. the best of stories.

so, i offer you my soul tonight, in the way i am pondering the present, wrestling with sacred texts in scripture, and in the way i am feeling quite grateful. i leave you with these three themes and a few more as i continue to celebrate the blog birthday! remember to leave a post for the blog birthday entry.

peace be yours. peace be.

life stories: sacred stitching

a work in process. 20 fat quarters were gathered and received. each was washed, ironed, measured, cut, ironed, stitched, ironed, and stitched some more. the pattern that's come forth will have a name, but i'm not sure of it just yet. how does this work speak to you?

the quilt top is a work in progress, one that is filled with love from these toes and many others. each adds up to create a whole lot of love and peace, filled into what will become one warm quilt for a friend and her birdies.

life stories: seeking the creative balance

new routines have become a part of my daily rhythm. lessons come, but with time between to ingest. among my favorite new routines are those from days past, now picked up again. i've come to believe that to achieve balance, you must begin with your body. both what you do with your body and what you put into your body. using concentric circle imagery, these attitudes toward balance are stacked on another, flowing together in the pursuit of wholeness and peace:

be-ing. attention is given to how breath & presence through previous posts. so, so important. to be in my own skin. to be still and aware. breathing deeply brings so much awareness to my moments. the present moment is here and i am aware.

breath work + exercise. daily pilates and/or walking. when i didn't give myself enough time to exercise before heading out to set up for an art show last thursday, my energy & attention wasn't so hot. i exercised a little later in the day, but wasn't quite myself come the evening's bereavement support group. my body's rhythm was "off". learning, i built in more time on friday morning before dashing to the show. there's new rhythm to my body's workings: my attention, my appetite, and my energy. over the last 6 weeks, exercise has said: "i'm here to stay. you've made room, and there's no turning back." while i've said for years that i couldn't run/jog because i didn't know how to breathe. now i'm learning: deep breathing in meditation plays into the way i breathe in exercise. connections.

listening to my inner wisdom. do you have those moments where you're aware, so aware of a choice you should make, or a move you should pursue? then, for some reason you don't go with that wisdom. well, each time i find that i learn to trust my inner wisdom. each chance to listen is a deepening of understanding. hopefully i'll find more balance with wisdom's call.

attending to my 'gut instincts'. while i think i was once one to say exactly what i thought, to be with those who were most in tune with me, and to attend to my own needs, i'd lost some of that over time. i think we clergy can forget ourselves in the pursuit of caring for others. in this attempt to find wholeness, i've had to strip off some of the layers of caring what others think. i've needed to move into borrowing something of Empty Space Coaching's question: "does it love me?" while heather explores this question surrounding food, i'm exploring it around people and attitudes. does everything or everyone have to love me? no. should i expect to surround myself with only love? well, given the choice i would, but is it even possible? not everything or everyone will love me. but here's the trick: i only want to hold onto the images, people, and comments that do love me. the negative thoughts, critical comments that don't produce good energy or deepening thoughts or welcomed work within shouldn't hang around. nope, nada. gone. even those comments that i may have mis-understood and held onto are getting tossed or challenged. i'll just ask that person if that's what he/she meant (something i heard as negative or uncaring) and move on.

friends. i love surrounding myself with my friends, but as friendships change and i adapt to new rhythms, i'm learning that's OK. i have not been investing as much energy into calling, scheduling, & running around. there's need for balance in relationships, and i've been noticing when it's not present. i don't mind work, but a new way of working is in order. so i'm making efforts to balance energy-giving with energy-receiving relationships. we'll see where these go.

food. i'm eating good food, but only what i need. i'm not as hungry. i'm more disciplined in the types of foods i am eating, and in the timing in which i eat. my husband and i talk about the power of a good breakfast. wow! you mean what nutritionists say is true? maybe so.

by caring for myself, giving myself time for exercise, breakfast (i skipped this most of the time), sweeping the floor (yes, it's on the list), and all the projects between i'm feeling good. i'm feeling closer to wholeness, closer to my core self. it's a good feeling.

there's a search for balance and re-balance. a search for wholeness and peace. while each day brings promise, i am aware of life's challenges, too. many of my sweet friends & clergy friends say that my facebook/twitter comments are so upbeat and cheerful. we'll see how that goes through the gray days of winter. for now, these crisp fall days bring hope. i feel good and i want to share those good feelings and energy with others.

time for self, family, and art + spirit restores me to the core of me. i'm ready for those friends who just "drop by" and brighten my day. i'm ready with tea and baked bread (some days) and mostly, i'm ready for the good times ahead. i'm getting to know myself all over again. i just hope that as you know me, well, like anyone, i hope to be accepted and loved for who i am. i will be hopeful and upbeat all the while the same truth-teller and pastoral support that i am.

deep peace

one of my favorite prayers.  it's often used in worship and in prayerful experiences since receiving the book.  Soul Weavings: A Gathering of Women's Prayers.  Edited by Lyn Klug.  Augsburg Fortress Publishers (at 50% off). page 147.  deep peace to you.

Deep peace, pure white of the moon to you.  

Deep peace, pure green of the grass to you.

Deep peace, pure brown of the earth to you. 

Deep peace, pure gray of the dew to you. 

Deep peace, pure blue of the sky to you.

Deep peace, of the running wave to you.

Deep peace, of the flowing air to you.

Deep peace, of quiet earth to you.

Deep peace, of the shining stars to you.

Deep peace, of the Son of Peace to you.

~Fiona Macleod, Ireland (1855-1905)