29 August 2012

peaceful parenting. a goal. a practice.

image from the labrynth at richmond hill.
As They Are

When you are with your children
be one with them.
Let every part of your body relax
and become as supple as your child's.
Allow all expectations and anxieties to melt away
so that you can see clearly.
Love them as they are
in this very moment,
without needing to change a thing.

When their lives are filled with trouble
allow events to unfold
without pushing or straining,
and you will understand clearly
what your role should be.

You nourish them without possessing them.
You guide them without controlling them.
You help them without worrying.

The Parent's Tao Te Ching: A New Interpretation. Ancient Advice for Modern Parents. by William Martin.

some days are easier than others to allow all expectations and anxieties to melt away.  to quiet.  to allow expectations and anxieties to dissipate.

today i needed to read this excerpt from The Parent's Tao Te Ching.  and another.  and another.  the others are for me.  you can have them, too, when you need them by grabbing a copy of this great book.

today i need to rest before reacting.  to create space for the quiet in our life to exist before allowing my sweet boy to play on screen.  to create moments where we see each other and know each other just as we have many times before.  to remember that he may be a little anxious with school starting next week and his moment of stomping feet and dramatic words will not last.  he's practicing these moments of foot stomping. they're not perfect and sometimes i giggle.  his feelings get hurt on those occasions.  it's as cute as it is dear and he's practicing.  

after such an occasion he is already cozy in the floor of his room building with legos and will continue to play and play for hours.

today i need reminding that the lists and get-it-done tasks that can wait until next week need to wait.  as excited as i am every day to create art and make plans for a new program year in the studio, i am his mother and we are a gift to one another.

our time together is sacred.
i need to keep it so.

today i need to work, too.  so the balance of time and energy and presence will be good for each of us as he delights in time with his uncle.  which he does: delights.  every. time.

my goal is peaceful parenting.  parenting through my own wholeness.  parenting that's flawed.  true.  pure.  parenting that is good enough as a wise professor and friend says.  i prepare myself for that mothering marking moment to come by holding true to this moment.

and i stop typing.  make a late breakfast for us.  and i will quiet with my coffee.  and i will allow my own insecurities to dissipate.  and we will play.


  1. Lovely insights and inspiration from a lovely woman, and mother!

    1. cheryl,

      those are such good words. so special coming from you. xo.