28 October 2009

life stories: mindful change

i'm beginning to think that if we each spent 10 minutes (or more) a day in still, mindful meditation we'll change the world. that change will begin within each of us, and the possibilities are limitless... i'm not the first to think such thoughts, but i join in the belief system that exists.

as i remove myself from social media, as i quiet our home with no sounds other than those natural "home" sounds and the sounds from outside, as i breathe deeply & sit still, there's something that takes shape from within. there's an inner stillness & awareness that wakes up within me and speaks to the world, the universe around me. there's a loss of time and space and an new creation of presence.

each moment that i spend still, quiet, focused, mindful i find myself using fewer words. i find my comprehension & thoughts focusing and i am in love with the ability to speak well. i am in love with the ability to be centered and positive.

what has surprised me are those moments of recognition where sarcasm, once practiced, is not so present. i even read & hear sarcasm in others as complaint rather than humor. [friends, i'll still love you, but i may distance myself from some of those tweets or comments on facebook.] you likely won't know. i'll just bid you blessings and peace.

when another friend called this week and spoke of my status updates & desire to be at a table with me, to sit and be in a thoughtful, well-intentioned conversation, i was humbled. during our conversation, memories of what i read that day that weren't so thoughful or well-intentioned (says the inner critic) poured into my mind. my conversation with this beloved friend wasn't as focused or centered. my mouth opened with questions and concerns. i said OUT LOUD some of my gut's instincts over recent days. i'm not sure if it "felt" good to be unburdened and share these thoughts with this kindred spirit or not. there's no guilt or regret, just questions of why so much welled up within. what i do hope is that we have the same desires each time we speak to want to be with the other person at table, sharing a meal or coffee together. to know that when we are low, there are folks who can help us to retain our balance. to know that we can first sit in a quiet stillness, listening to the sounds of our breathing, acknowledging our own thoughts that come into play as we sit and breathe.

we have so much potential inside of us. we are full of infinite possibility. (says one of my mini mixed media) while i am not attempting to share fortune cookie-like comments, i do feel full of good things. i want to express those good thoughts & share my life story. if negative thoughts or emotions come, i don't ignore them, but send them on their way. there's no room, no space left for them.

as my loving husband told me last night, "your mind is on other things." and he's right on target: my mind is on other things. mindful, thoughtful, peaceful, loving things. still in recognition of illness, death, and sorrow. much of that is spoken of in conversations with family & friends & those in the bereavement support group. i am in tune with that reality as well. awareness is so much of what brings that mindfulness through the creative spirit. then i can create & pray. i can be mindful that life is good, even when it's not.

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