we welcomed the return to a school routine pretty well. up early, lunches packed, the boys off to school. i exercised daily and showered. (always a good mark of accomplishment.) to off set these return-to-routine moments, there were the "are you serious?" moments: keys misplaced a couple of times, phone left behind in a friend's car, an incident poking my eye with a limb on the blueberry bush while weeding (as a cool down from exercise), smoking the house by burning something on the stove (which i NEVER do but have now), and my sweet boy burning his thumb on a curling iron after the warning: do not touch this because it will get really hot.
these are just glimpses of moments where i was a bit thrown off, a bit shaken, a bit dizzy. nothing life altering or worth complaint, but worth remark.
is there something with the return-to-routine that other daily habits get mixed up in the bag and poured out in a crazy way? is there a flood of creative thought that is tossing the daily living to the side and life gets a little muddled?
even conversations have been a bit muddled here and there, but mostly i've been so excited and thankful. seriously excited. filled with gratitude. i've found the keys. my phone is in hand. my eye has healed, abd the house aired out and now smells more like the lavender + basil scents we enjoy. the boy's thumb is healing. my love and i had a date night to the movies. i signed a contract for a new studio space. it's been a good, restful yet chaotic week.
there's always something in life bringing in laughter, tears, and a flurry of other emotions. i carry the families i've worked with in bereavement groups with me. there is always perspective as a sweet three year old is undergoing chemo and the effects, as adult children care for their aging parents. there is perspective and there is the daily present. i look at the moment as it is: the moment. i plan ahead for meals, for play dates, and set aside time to create and day dream a little. i light a prayer candle and stitch thinking of others, praying for well being and healing.
hopefully with each week there comes a balance with the crazy, silly muddles in life and the serious, good, sacred moments. of course, the sacred just as present in the crazy, silly muddles as the sacred is present in the everyday. the sacred is present in routine and in chaos.
so i'll continue to center each day. i'll walk and listen. i'll practice yoga and make time for silent meditation (a practice will be more consistent with). i'll sit and sew. i'll sweep and make peace. i'll return to calm and laugh, maybe even return to calm and cry a little. within each moment it will be what it IS. it will be creative. it will BE and i will be there present to each moment, routine or chaotic. welcome or surprising.