25 September 2009

creative spaces: making gardens

getting the fall garden planted is going to happen. really. but there are other gardens in the being planted & tended. the flower pictured above has been the seed of an 'idea' for quite some time. a long time, really. i have so many drawings that i want to carve, pieces i want to create. yet, these seeds are germinating. there's time to plant, water, and cultivate what's planted. there's time. there's a new inner stillness in this knowing, because as i have created space for my desk, i sit at it and organize. as i create space to see the floor, i can put an exercise mat down and meet pilates again. these intentional movements in my day give me a better flow and a greater peace in the way i live. this flow and peace move into the pace of the everyday. my husband looked at me with knowing a night this week and remarked,
i know what's different. you're here. you're completely present with us and it's wonderful. you're not thinking about what's next or worrying over what needs to get done. you're fully present with us and it's so good.
okay, so this statement is so good in so many ways. it's also so ironic. i'm trained to be fully present to those whom i minister & support. we're talking 5 years of two masters programs! years (more than a decade) of ministry & support experience. my gratefulness for the full presence to my family goes beyond words. over the years i've worked through therapy, coaching, and tough work with previously formed emotional structures. each of these movements has been good and led me here: i've made progress. there's a difference in my day-to-day now.

one of the most surprising elements of this process of organizing, sorting, and creating is the connection with re-framing, establishing new patterns & new behaviors. when you change your behaviors, your thoughts can change. when you change the way you think, you change your emotional reactions/emotions. when you do that, your reactions change. take breathing deeply. if you can breathe deeply, you can calm yourself and slow your heart rate. your mind isn't as jumbled but becomes more steadied and has space to think. you don't react with anxiety or defensive postures. you are actively present to yourself and the situation at hand. (these changes work in a number of ways, but here i'm simplifying reflections on my studies in choice theory & positive psychology.) i like being in the place i'm in, and i'm only seeing the benefits.

these days are filled with good uses of time and a peace with what i'm able to accomplish, much in thanks to reframe. the journey started long ago has led me to this place, and i'm thankful to have joined up with jodi and heather along the way. i know you all are curious and your interest is peeked. it should be. the process is good in creating a little more structure where my creative self wants complete freedom. we know that children need boundaries to be able to move free within them. likewise, my creative self needs order & structure so that I have spaces that my creative spirit can be planted and grow.

for a long time, folks express see brightness & optimism in my art. that goodness and optimism, that hope, is working itself in and around me. i feel hopeful. i feel good. i see good spaces ahead. better, i experience hope and goodness and meaning in the moments of each day. i feel so much in a given day that it must come through me into some art or be shared on a walk or get channelled into some words. these 'gardens' i create through art, food, and love are what i choose to walk in each day. i invite you to join me on those walks. some time, perhaps, we can carve out some time for tea & a conversation. make spaces filled with goodness, good smells, good attitudes. and on those other days, find some flower that can bring you a little glimpse of hope.

until the next time, may goodness to flow in, among, and around. may you celebrate each day as a gift, and find time to make gardens in your day.

3 comments:

  1. i like what you have written here and it's good to read about your refreshed state of mind. i understand the feeling of not being present and always planning ahead. that "reframe" program sounds like something that would help me a lot, but i don't know if i have the willpower and energy right now to follow through!

    i look forward to seeing the new artwork you create with your open state of mind.

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  2. what a beautiful meditation on planting the seeds of creativity. i've just been noticing that my studio is completely cluttered again. it's time for me to make space to walk and breathe in there. thank you for sharing your wisdom and realizations.

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  3. my hubby has said that same statement to me before. i made sugar cookies with the diva the other night, and he stood perched in the doorway watching us saying it was great to see ME have fun. all distractions put aside. i was having fun.

    loved this post. xoxo

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