ritual ways: marking motherhood

tonight marks the last night of mothering to a four-year-old sweet boy. i'm saying it over and over today, because it is really hard to believe sometimes. the days sweep by, collecting like little treasures neatly in a pile at my feet.

my heart is overjoyed as i watch my dear one play, run, laugh, tell stories, draw, love, cook, dig, run in circles, sing, sit in church, hug tillman & bear, love his daddy-o, and love his mom. he's a loving boy who is so curious, who builds elaborate castles and plays and plays for hours with legos and playmobile. he loves talking and he's a thinker at times, too.

as i've moved throughout this day remembering the birthdays before and the love that's contained in each of the years of his life, those remembrances led me to this moment where i stood reflecting on the steps leading to his birth.

know that i celebrate his life as his. he's a gift to share with his friends, with our community, with our family, and with our ancestors. he'll continue to hear stories, to see pictures, and to be told who he was in his younger years. he'll hear which uncles he looks like, which parents he favor when we were children, and he'll hear that he's a life all of his own.

maybe this is my way of marking these mothering years, by honoring the boy he's grown into over this time. i know that deep within i am settled into his growing. i know we are not guaranteed the future. i know that every fiber of my being wants his daily living and life-long living to be filled with goodness, laughter, courage, life, health, and creativity. i want him to know others well, to live well, and to love well. he's doing a really amazing job at each so far.

i want my mothering to continue to bring out the best in me, even when i am tired. i want my mothering to bring me to wholeness, to shalom. i want my mothering to be a partnership with my love's parenting and in the partnership together, we may continue to grow. there's so much i do want and so i name it, mark it, claim it.

i plant my claim here in our home, in our investment of time and love together. i plant my claim to this family i hold dear. i plant my claim in the spaces of the world that surround us where we can witness the sacred stories we are each a part of. may we continue to live well & love well in the spaces of our daily living. may we celebrate well each day just as we celebrate the day of a sacred soul's birth.

amen.