finding peace

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.

— Wendell Berry

lenten roses

i love these hellebores plants. love, love them.

lenten lessons

among the lenten lessons learned, i've been challenged today by my wise sage: my therapist. she's a kindred spirit, colleague, sojourner, and wise one. among those fabulous traits i consider her to be a speaker of truth.

when i told her today that i'd given up my inner critic for lent, she suggested that i should never give up my inner critic saying, "i'm so glad that it's almost Easter because you need your inner critic. you need her." from her words through the stirrings of today i'm beginning to believe that i need her voice within me. she's the one to call my heart into attention when something is out of line. she is there to help me to become mindful. she is present in times that i need her voice.

she is also there and can sit with the wise elder and be heard. the wise elder knows how to listen to the inner critic. you need both to be whole.

wow. that is something to ponder. it seems fitting that my wise sage challenges me this holy week, on the final path to easter. as i ponder, i will look with wise eyes and allow the inner critic to speak to me, i will listen. i will not react. i will not turn the critic's voice into my own, but i will listen. she may have learned something from the wise elder. i know the wise elder is with me and present to me. i know that when i live in the fullness and wholeness that is me, i am not pulled apart by critic, elder, muse. i am not woman, mother, wife, teacher... i am me. i am whole. i am divine.

it is in the divine light that i seek to be made whole, seek to be restored, seek to be a light for others. today, now, i seek to be me. in the fullness and beauty of me. me. in the light and darkness of life, for in darkness we see light. in darkness we grow and are warmed in our mother's womb. in both light and darkness, with both the critic and wise elder i am me.

there are very real lessons that i am able to learn each day, as we all are. sometimes we must stand in the light of our truth and the light of our love to see our fullness, even for a moment. there i want to reside. there i want to grow. so, i will be. i will be enough, not resisting the critic, but living with her. through lent i have found that her presence has been quiet most of the time. when i try to push her away, she fights back. when i rest with her, she is still. there's still a pondering there, but maybe a birth place for the critic to herself grow into a wise one. perhaps.

creative spaces: Fertile Crescent Farm

i love visiting our friends on their farm. i've known darbi for a number of years and am always so impressed with what she's able to accomplish, the care & love that goes into the spaces that surround her. the home is worthy of a magazine spread or blogging love for certain. i couldn't help but take images of the farm and the home. today i'll share images from around the farm.

these are full of the life of the land, but only the smallest of tastes. there's so much to see and do when you're there. mainly, you just breathe deeply and listen to the sounds around you: the wind, the dogs, the chicks when you're near them, and that all knowing presence that is in well cared for spaces. the Creative Spirit that is present to us and through us. oh, it's a sacred space. any place or space this family tends will be blessed by their hands.

of course, i am a farm girl at heart. i want bees to tend, chickens to raise, and the sound of the all knowing presence to surround me in the air i breathe every day.

visit Fertile Crescent Farm's Site: they have a fabulous CSA we'll enjoy for the third year! Visit Fertile Crescent Farm's Blog for the latest on life on the farm & great recipes!

capturing spring

i love the chance to stop and admire the beauty in creation. enjoy this small, beautiful glimpse of one such moment this week.

on the spirituality of sweeping: a new broom

it seems last week was the week of quilts and this is the week of life stories, both of which include toes. i love feet so: where they take us, how they help us to find our balance. a daily rhythm to finding my balance involves sweeping. i like to walk barefoot on clean floors. i like the look of the wood in it's natural state (trees are better, mind you). There's something peaceful for me to have clean floors.

the very act of sweeping is a practice in spirituality and mindfulness. i am completely aware of what is beneath my feet, what we bring into the house on our boots and shoes, and how we've lived in the moments before. there may be bread crumbs from a fresh loaf that we've torn with our hands at table. there may be bits of playmobil knight's gear strewn across the floor. there may be bits of play dough or a few loose crayons.

the moments that i sweep i give thanks for what is at my feet:

for the house we live.

for the home we create.

for the love we share.

for the creativity that takes place

through our bodies, words, and dust.

for the love of our lives & the gift of food.

for all this and more, i give thanks.

the good, fresh start that sweeping provides. the instant gratification in delighting in a clean floor. i'm learning from the new broom purchased yesterday. it's bristles are different from the broom we've used for years and years. the broom whose handle falls off at least once a week, who is used outside on the walk and inside on the floors. this broom will become a porch and sidewalk broom while the new one is guided by my hands indoors. each stroke an act of gratitude. each movement a prayer of thanksgiving.

this new broom will teach me in the days ahead, as its very feel is new. as i reflected on FB this morning:

On the spirituality of sweeping: a new broom is like a new way of prayer, holding it in your hands & experiencing something previously unknown. With time in consistent practice, a new comfort & understanding can spring forth.

life story: sand play and sun

sometimes its good to engage in a little sunning, time with the boy, and creative rest all at once in the backyard. we love sitting together, playing together, and being together in the spaces of our yard and home. soon after i took this photo, my son was jumping over my shoulder, catching himself with his hands and rolling to the ground. he was jumping into my arms, me holding him high while on my back as he flapped his "wings" pretending to fly. i then

reminded him how to turn a somersault and we each did so numerous times. thank goodness for yoga!

my son helps to remind me to play and play well. after adding new sand to the sand box, he played well for a while in quiet and then told stories. he helps me to laugh. laugher is always good. time in our yard is always good. this was a full day for which i'm thankful.

quilting bee quilt: flower fantasy

this quilt from my grandmother's home belonged to her mother's (my great-grandmother lennye) circle of women. i really don't remember the details, but my great-aunt's name, jennie, is embroidered on the quilt as is this name i can't quite make out:

i do not know how many hands were involved, but i like to imagine a circle of women chatting well, sharing stories, with the sunlight beaming around them & their work. i like to imagine their love in each stitch, for a generation they wouldn't see to adulthood. i like to imagine they might have imagined me, my family, curling up with this quilt.

so lovely, even with the tea stains of time.

and so much better with little toes and long toes on top. to touch each flower and enjoy the pinwheel shapes and movement that you see with your mind's eye.

and especially good to sit and read. to enjoy. to picnic in the house. to savor a moment with my boy on the floor and his loving spirit. he soon jumped into my lap after this picture and warmed up with a mother's love. joys shared in a timeless moment atop a quilt assembled so many, many years ago.

quilted squares

a quilt by the window. receiving light, creating comfortable space, visually appealing.

this quilt was made by my great-grandmother's hands. i remember her hands well, hands that held us close, loving us fiercely. she was quite a lady.

folded down, you can see the variety of polyester squares with the hand stitching, crochet, all around each square.

i love the simplicity of the design with the bold colors & variation in textures. i can imagine her wearing polyester pants.

quilts are made to be used, to wrap yourself in or sit yourself upon. i love the boy at the window, looking down our street. he's at home. this quilt is a part of our home and the warmth & love we hold dear.

quilts of my ancestors

the three quilts to the right are quilts made by women in my family, both maternal & paternal relatives. i'm so in awe of how the years treat quilts when they are cared for. these are in my mother's home. she lent them for the women's retreat i led back in january in Mississippi. i'm so thankful to have been surrounded by so many beautiful colors with fabrics that were resourced well. we think the quilt you see with the green was made from flour or tea sacks from my great-grandmother's store. how wonderful are the works of your hands!

timeless quilts recreated through natalie chanin's handiwork

natalie chanin of alabama chanin and author of alabama stitch book and alabama studio style has an amazing studio and studio shop at the factory. these quilts were in her studio shop when i visited in the summer of 2008.

i love the hand embroidered text on this quilt.

the hand applique' creates a new work of art of a beautiful but wearing-down vintage quilt. these become timeless through the creative touches.

read my previous post of my visit to the factory. you'll find a cane chair whose design influences a hope i have for the studio. enjoy!

circles and cross quilt

my mother found this small quilt (about 1.5'x2.5') at an estate or yard sale. i borrowed it for a women's retreat i led in Mississippi earlier this year. i love the color combinations and the contrasts of solid & pattern, especially the vintage fabric with the red. the circles speak to me, but also the "cross" patterns i see in the fabric. i left this with my mother, as i wasn't prepared to ask for it, but i hope to make some sort of traveling parament for an altar or table.

quilts in the works: nanny's inspiration

my grandmother made this quilt.

she made it for me. it was made from a variety of wool blend fabrics in many sizes. she made this quilt for me when i was fatigued a lot in high school as a lap quilt for when i napped or was cold. i was cold a lot, running a low-grade fever for almost two years. i remember being the typical teenager and not showing full appreciation for its shades of color or for its uniqueness. now it's one of the quilts i treasure most. because she made it for me, because she stitched it with love, because she continues to warm me through her quilts, i want to share this quilting love with others.

for christmas i gave my younger brother-in-law the promise of a quilt like this one, to show him that we love him and can have the warmth of "home" where-ever he goes in his college life. i'm shopping thrift stores for pants that will be cut apart and made into a quilt for him. i hope to make at least one a year, using my grandmother's quilt as inspiration and possibly as design. i would like the shapes of the fabrics i find to guide the quilt as well. i think that it's a fitting tribute.

sacred space: jayme's quilt

a quilt created for my friend jayme. design by suzanne l. vinson, 2008.

tree of life quilt for kacey & scott

i love making quilts, but not for profit. i love making quilts that send love and life to those whom they are given. for kacey and scott this quilt is a quilt that took almost a year to create & give. the time is relative, as it didn't feel like a year, but a collection of moments i could think about these friends and send love through each stitch. i'm eagerly awaiting the work of kacey's hands: an awesome painting that will hold some of my own treasures. i'm so thankful for so many of you creative friends.

as quilts and love are on my mind this week, i thought i would share pictures both familiar & some new of this quilt. you can see more of this quilt on my flickr set: quilts + fabric.

an image of the back of the quilt.

the 65 roses project

my friend Nikole is awesome. she's an amazing women, mother, artist... aunt. read about her project on her blog: a happy nest. she's making 65 roses in honor of her beautiful niece caroline. i won't add my words except to send you to hers: go. go now. take your favorite mug filled & read. take a look at the amazing work of her hands in making a happy nest for her & her family. indeed: she is awesome. i look forward to selecting one of these and wearing it for caroline...

creative peeps: Beverly Ealdama

a BIG thank you to pikaland for the introduction to the amazing art & typography of Beverly Ealdama. Her flickr stream has some amazing work. the quotes are inspiring. I love her composition of this Maya Angelo quote, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

tears bring a creative time to heal

Anne Lamott spoke recently at the 2010 WomanKIND conference in Richmond at St. James Episcopal Church. I've been thinking about the words she used and instead of telling you about her words, I thought I'd share some of her thoughts on crying.

Tonight begins a new bereavement group that I will lead using art as creative expression. Each stroke speaks to healing: the hope to heal from a child's early death to the anger of watching a child suffer through illness. Each moment breathing in each other's stories will be a sacred time, a restoring time. A time to honor and a time to grieve.

As I processed my own emotions over a friend's heart breaking moments in life, I processed through art. I share that image with you in this post, as tears were involved. Tears that turned into song.

Anne Lamott's Thoughts on Crying from WomanKIND 2010. My Notes:

Mother Theresa: We can't all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.

Pour into others, trust, & let go. Cry. Breathe.

Crying: is a sacrament. there's a salvation to crying.

We [women] are raised to believe to get over certain losses. You'll never get over all of them. There's not a system of getting over this, though the world thinks so.

Subversive: cry as much and as long as you need to.

Crying & Anger: gives YOU you back.

Water like a plant mister. Will hydrate the ground & your feet. Brings you to your butt & that's where grace is. Advent is a time to grow plants. Seeds, and that's in the dark. We don't know what we're growing.

Face your shadow. Cry your eyes out. Will wash you into where the divine intelligence. It is where/who you really are.