life stories: the silence longed for

among lessons learned in seminary, this one was the most jarring, the most surprising, the most needed: learning to be at peace in & with silence. through my wonderful christian spirituality instructor, we were introduced to the practice of sitting in stillness and silence. we were led from the first intentionally silent moments of 2-3 minutes to eventually 20 minutes & longer. this practice of meditation and stillness is one that i loved and one that i need. i need to know how to BE in the moments of silence. as a minister & chaplain, these still, quiet moments are among those so dear to me: the woman who could not speak but whose touch was like touching the hand of God. silence while toughing the hands of so many... stories i could share, but i will hold within. in all likelihood, if you know what connection through silence + touch that i am referring to, you KNOW within your own story.

i'm not talking about "i wish i had more quiet" or "there's so much noise" but the silence that comes from attending to one's surroundings, to quieting oneself from within. sitting still & quiet. listening to your breath & heartbeat. perhaps offering thanks for oneself by taking that time to care for the self. this practice of quieting yourself from within by spending meditative time with yourself & the universe provides the space for peace-making within. when you are at peace within yourself, you can move into the world sharing that inner peace & attending to others in the process. the silence that comes when being present to another by putting them first and you are just be-ing (where your mind is free and non-anxious, but able to clearly attend). you know these souls who can attend, who can show such care through their very presence. this silence is an intentional space that is created to offer caring, attending, and a listening presence. you can be the listening presence to the great goodness that surrounds you, or you can send out a message of hope, peace, and love to the world around you in this created space. these spaces aren't empty, but full of promise and hope and desire--all with few, if any words or actions. of course there are good spaces for words, too. the peaceful space where your mind is free may allow clarity in the words you speak, and provide an inner knowing of what's most appropriately said.

my attention is often focused on making, creating, baking, caring...you get the drift. like me, you may find yourself in need of that inner stilling, that movement from the who, what, when, where of life into a deeper knowing. a knowing and understanding that life is good and meaningful. life sometimes sucks. sometimes it's grand. life is full of infinite possibility. life is life.

in those still moments of silence, when you can move beyond and move into, i find myself bonding more closely to the breath of life that is taking place in & around me. as i move from one task to another, i make space for the quiet moments. i turn off the radio, roll down the windows (a gift) and breathe in life as it's lived while i drive by. i let email sit in the inbox and silence the phone. i take a social media/media sabbath. just me. being. thinking as little as possible. moving into a meditative space where the Creative Spirt, the Holy One, the God of Creation and I meet, finding a sacred space. breathing space. creating a sacred moment. my soul is fed and i have found the silence i have so longed for. a longing recognized as it's met.

my heart is full. i see the spaces where god is present, not in cracks along the sidewalk, but in the grass that grows through the cracks in the sidewalk. may the silent spaces bring new growth into our midst, breaking forth with new growth and new life.

creative spaces: making gardens

getting the fall garden planted is going to happen. really. but there are other gardens in the being planted & tended. the flower pictured above has been the seed of an 'idea' for quite some time. a long time, really. i have so many drawings that i want to carve, pieces i want to create. yet, these seeds are germinating. there's time to plant, water, and cultivate what's planted. there's time. there's a new inner stillness in this knowing, because as i have created space for my desk, i sit at it and organize. as i create space to see the floor, i can put an exercise mat down and meet pilates again. these intentional movements in my day give me a better flow and a greater peace in the way i live. this flow and peace move into the pace of the everyday. my husband looked at me with knowing a night this week and remarked,

i know what's different. you're here. you're completely present with us and it's wonderful. you're not thinking about what's next or worrying over what needs to get done. you're fully present with us and it's so good.

okay, so this statement is so good in so many ways. it's also so ironic. i'm trained to be fully present to those whom i minister & support. we're talking 5 years of two masters programs! years (more than a decade) of ministry & support experience. my gratefulness for the full presence to my family goes beyond words. over the years i've worked through therapy, coaching, and tough work with previously formed emotional structures. each of these movements has been good and led me here: i've made progress. there's a difference in my day-to-day now.

one of the most surprising elements of this process of organizing, sorting, and creating is the connection with re-framing, establishing new patterns & new behaviors. when you change your behaviors, your thoughts can change. when you change the way you think, you change your emotional reactions/emotions. when you do that, your reactions change. take breathing deeply. if you can breathe deeply, you can calm yourself and slow your heart rate. your mind isn't as jumbled but becomes more steadied and has space to think. you don't react with anxiety or defensive postures. you are actively present to yourself and the situation at hand. (these changes work in a number of ways, but here i'm simplifying reflections on my studies in choice theory & positive psychology.) i like being in the place i'm in, and i'm only seeing the benefits.

these days are filled with good uses of time and a peace with what i'm able to accomplish, much in thanks to reframe. the journey started long ago has led me to this place, and i'm thankful to have joined up with jodi and heather along the way. i know you all are curious and your interest is peeked. it should be. the process is good in creating a little more structure where my creative self wants complete freedom. we know that children need boundaries to be able to move free within them. likewise, my creative self needs order & structure so that I have spaces that my creative spirit can be planted and grow.

for a long time, folks express see brightness & optimism in my art. that goodness and optimism, that hope, is working itself in and around me. i feel hopeful. i feel good. i see good spaces ahead. better, i experience hope and goodness and meaning in the moments of each day. i feel so much in a given day that it must come through me into some art or be shared on a walk or get channelled into some words. these 'gardens' i create through art, food, and love are what i choose to walk in each day. i invite you to join me on those walks. some time, perhaps, we can carve out some time for tea & a conversation. make spaces filled with goodness, good smells, good attitudes. and on those other days, find some flower that can bring you a little glimpse of hope.

until the next time, may goodness to flow in, among, and around. may you celebrate each day as a gift, and find time to make gardens in your day.

flower seen above available here.

Reflections on the Sacred Center

Read my newest article on Fidelia's Sisters.

life stories: a song in my head

There are many people
who will say they're Christians
and they live like Christians on the Sabbath day

But come Monday morning, til the coming Sunday
They will fight their neighbor all along the way

{chorus}
Oh you don't love God, if you don't love your neighbor
if you gossip about him, if you never have mercy
if he gets into trouble, and you don't try to help him
then you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love God

In the Holy Bible, in the Book of Matthew
Read the 18th chapter in the 21st verse
Jesus plainly tells us that we must have mercy
There's a special warning in the 35th verse

Oh you don't love God, if you don't love your neighbor
if you gossip about him, if you never have mercy
if he gets into trouble, and you don't try to help him
then you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love God

There's a God almighty, and you've got to love him
if you want salvation and a home on high

If you say you love him while you hate your neighbor
then you don't have religion, you just told a lie

Oh you don't love God, if you don't love your neighbor
if you gossip about him, if you never have mercy
if he gets into trouble, and you don't try to help him
then you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love God

Oh you don't love God, if you don't love your neighbor
if you gossip about him, if you never have mercy
if he gets into trouble, and you don't try to help him
then you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love God

then you don't love your neighbor, and you don't love God

Lyrics of Rhonda Vincent's Oh, You Don't Love God if You Don't Love Your Neighbor. View a version on YouTube.

These days I carry this song with me as I walk my neighborhood. A neighborhood where there has been a great deal of violence and injustice over the years, while maintaining the charm of it's beginnings. I am among good people; some who live on the edge of existence. Some neighbors (I'll use this loosely here because I do not need to mean the house to my left or right, but my larger community) are on the edge of violence, of job security, of gas/electricity/water. Some neighbors have come and some have gone. The possible stories echo through my mind as this song courses through my head. After hearing a story on NPR related to memories that come through music, I began to connect the memory-making/importance of THIS song and THESE lyrics.

Today I began to realize that as I walk through my neighborhood, I can make my exercise not only a mission of health, but moreover a mission of prayer & peacekeeping for my neighbors. For the unknown, untold stories, I take a step for peace. Then I take another step for love, and yet another for joy. [Stop. Reach down for that piece of trash.] For the new faces that smile and say good morning or hello, I say hello, I love you, too. Sometimes a nod of the head, but good acknowledgement.

While I've been working on thoughts regarding motherhood and social justice, motherhood as a social justice issue, other ideas and thoughts are pouring through. And this blog entry relates. The connection is made in a new way in my mind. Small steps, but movement nonetheless. Some thoughts continue to percolate, as they do in my mind. Others are transferred into my new, happy system for receiving ideas and creative juices. While the motherhood + social justice article is still formulating, I record today's thoughts and connections.

Thus, I share with little of my life story as it happens. Rhonda Vincent, like many others, speak words of truth-telling in their music. Funny thing, as I'm actually wearing the earphones listening to other tunes & words, I find myself humming or singing THIS song as I travel the roads surrounding my home each morning. Speak to me, God. Speak in true tones. Speak to me God, words worthy of hearing. I have not always been a good neighbor. I'll admit that first. Yet, there are moments of grace and forgiveness and for this I am thankful.

birthing miracles: a prayer

photo courtesy of fertilecrescentfarm.

Creator of Life, who breathes us into being, whose spirit can be the first breath, whose knowing can be the first knowing, grant your spirit of love, presence, and peace surround parents who birth hope today. To parents whose child comes from birthing waters of development into the world full of infinite possibility, draw your loving presence near. As you draw near, dance among these, pouring all the love and affection coming from many parts of creation to these we love and bless.

Well maker, bless the wellspring whose waters flow: tears of love, tears of gratitude, tears of pain, tears of joy, tears with no name. These waters from your source become waters of welcome, as part of the birthing waters this day.

Creative Presence, as you have paired creatively these who will love and be loved, may your spirit work within the transformation taking place through love. whether by labor of love in a car, train, and plane to birth a new daughter who is birthed through hopes and dreams and love in a creative, courageous way, or through the process of labor, birthing a child in a room with midwife and father, soothe and support their laboring love.

Wellspring of Life, may the anticipation of waiting and watching and laboring become the sacred gift of life, the gift of hope, the gift of dream. Bless these who wait, these who welcome, these whose hearts are filled so full. Bless the prayers and hopes and dreams surrounding this creative mystery this day.

Mothering God, may birth bring pure love, light and peace to these and their supportive families and friends. Delight be shared in all ways in this day and the days to come for these as parents who travel to meet their child and for children who travel to meet their parents. May the birthing waters within, surrounding, and oceans below be for these the waters that bring miracles.

Amen.

Today, may S, A & B each be blessed as they bless. Receive love, friends.

breathing room

when i need a moment to meditate on something good, i look to my grandmother's painting or listen closely to birdsong. her love of birds was evident in the way she spoke to us of their names, their colors, their flight. she would sit with us on her front porch, swinging and singing and telling tales of birds. my grandmother's influence is a direct part of why i love birds: watching, listening, drawing, and cutting their shapes. birds build their nests with care, gathering just what they need. they keep their nest tidy and sometimes add a little splash of color if fabric, thread, and other materials just happen to be present.

as i continue to build and refashion our nest, i'm learning a little something about myself, as well as being reminded of what happens when the weather turns. i'm reminded of seasonal allergies and it's not fun to be reminded of seasonal allergies. i'm reminded of how much good fall meals mean to our family. i'm reminded of how good a cinnamon apple candle smells when lit.

i'm learning something of myself and the voices that i know are present in me to store away, to save, and to leave for another day. these voices are some that i love as well as the inner critic. this new system now integrated into my day is helping me to look at things anew. it's helping me to take a few steps forward in cleaning & reorganizing my home space. i'm also learning that this journey is one that goes well with coffee & hot tea. of course, what doesn't? as i write, i realize that it's time spent not doing something else, but writing is a part of my day, even if you don't read it here. i've been working on so much over the last year with my business, life, and dreams for the future. some projects are still "in the works" while others are being reached. a second website is almost complete, a book proposal is at least half-way there, and i'm ready to make time to see these come to fruition.

i'm learning that i'm about to burst with excitement with what the days ahead have in store. i'm excited and a little anxious all at the same time. so today i am giving myself some breathing room. breathing room to write this record of my journey. breathing room to love on my son (always and always) and receive his love. breathing room to see my clothes hung up (color coordinated). breathing room to breathe deeply (a spiritual practice, i believe: connecting the mind, body, and spirit). the space that i must work in today includes sewing two-ways (hand and machine) as well as the immediate: sorting through fabric to share and fabric to place on shelves. so that's where i'll spend time now. i'll also reflect on the weekend, listen to The Frames, and show appreciation for this day and the days to come, seasonal allergies or no.

appreciation for today and the days ahead: we will enjoy hospitality tonight with a friend + share hospitality as another friend joins us for the weekend. so this weekend: we will breathe deeply in the fall air, breathe deeply with the company of good friends, and breath deeply sharing a September weekend together. may we each find good, meaningful moments with ourself and others this weekend. cheers.

creative spaces: filing and sorting part one

piles and more piles. that's a good way to describe all the accumulated bills, sketches, and idea sheets that have gathered over time. many of which i'm wanting to just recycle. in fact, it would be so much easier to just toss them out the window, scattering them into the yard in some moment of triumph. *sigh* then you must go outside and pick up all that scattered goodness off the lawn, so it wouldn't work. instead, i think i'll just follow suit and work through these stacks, even if my shoulders hurt. i'll sort into piles as instructed by my reframe organizing gurus. there's a process here and it's good. it's better working through and finding that design i REALLY wanted to make a new block print from. it's better to show myself that i can work through the lazy toss-it-out-the-window fantasies.

today i'll share my sweet finds with you. as i mentioned wanting to go vintage & already-have or repurposed materials here at home, with the exception of clear folders for my business happenings. part of this process is developing a system of handling orders and wholesale orders for my business in a really smooth way. i love the clear folders because i can see what's in them without taking anything out, which is very helpful for my needs. they're pretty long-lasting as well.

even my circles that are in-process can chill out in the envelopes before they are stitched. these envelopes are what the files come in. i just love these to hold my wears, too. nothing goes to waste here.

so, i purchased a few more files + a filing stand. i had a coupon. two coupons, really. these folders are part of the Peter Walsh [IN]PLACE system, which i purchased at Office Max (see the receipt is already filed away). the purchases have been very economical because of my ink cartridges maxperks credit + sales. and pardon the last photo: needed a little fuzziness for the materials in this picture. the file isn't living here, but as this is a process, each part of my studio will be transformed, including the crazy space to the left of my desk, where this file sits on a smaller table. the process is good to record, write about, and share. now off to use the remainder of my son's "rest time" to get to today's activities.

Sharing a Good Thing: Grosgrain's Poppy Boutonniere Tutorial & Giveaway!

Photo ©Grosgrain as seen on the link below.

Poppy Boutonniere Tutorial and GIVEAWAY!!!! Simply sweet. These poppies remind me of my poppy/circles hairpins & brooches. So pretty. You can make your own, as seen here using the above tutorial. There is so much visual goodness on Grosgrain's site. Lots of good, fun inspiration.

Twenty minute Simple Skirt Tutorial is one that I want to make oh-so-soon. Love this simple skirt. I'm diggin' the dress I made with Amy Butler's Anna Tunic Pattern and hand appliqued my sweet circles on. I can see this skirt adorned with some sweet applique'. There may be a few days left to enjoy it! (or to make a longer skirt for the fall.)

You can find my circles on my etsy site. More and more to come.

creative spaces: my sweet desk

The Before Shot. do i really want to show you this? no. am i pleased with myself for the transformation? oh, my. yes! while my upstairs is my "studio/office", it's become a catch-all before our two weeks away. since then, it's remained in distressing form. thanks to reframe + ambition over the last week, i've been working at getting it into a space that i want to walk into and be. i want the space to calm me, not make my heart rush.

here's a slight close-up taken last night once the desk was 'finished for the night'. There will be more transformation that will come to the upstairs space, but taking it one-day-at-a-time is helping.
the desk, taken in the morning hours. i love using small containers for items that i need quickly. you'll see the GO box, files, my many favorite pens & pencils, labels, jewelry tools, etc. my desk is a working desk for my business, life, and art. it's all together, yet will have its separate places through the filing system.
the 'i-am-the-label-maker' labels. while i like the idea of a label maker, i'm also trying to use what i already have in this process. all things repurposed + vintage. today i'll make a purchase for some more clear file folders (which i love using for my business/art) and colored papers to finish out the list.
my son was inspired. so sweet. my son's happy desk, inspired by mine. he stood in awe (quite literally very still with his mouth open and as he reached for my paperclips, "do you want a desk like this?" "yes! i need pencils. i need red paperclips...")

seven minutes later, here's his desk. "his" camera for inspiration, a handy "lamp" and containers with his bees wax crayons, colored pencils, brushes, scissors, and a house box for his handmade paper books. you'll see a colorful assortment of his paperclips, too. but the best: his recycling container is a the bottom of his desk, too. it contains his cutting scraps as you see him working on. he's telling me now that, "i'm sitting at my desk drawing a gift picture for uncle john."

good gravy. this is great. even a three-and-a-half year old has cleared his spaces and is creating!

i must tell you that if you're inspired by this, you should be. i'm amazed at how good it feels to know that more good things are coming. there's been new plans and inspiration flowing over the summer, but still i've needed to be more organized. i can feel this is a good thing. a really good process to be engaged in. saying this because you receive a gift of hope, a good word, and much encouragement along the way. you don't go it alone, but with others. i love the life journey that we're on together.

check out reframe's program and go ahead, sign up! sessions start each monday.

sharing organization: project journal on a cigar box organizer

thanks to the re[frame] process soon to begin next week, i was motivated to create a creative box for part of the system. if you're not so into making your own, you can find this amazingly cute one with cards on etsy by FreestyleGifts, which inspired the use of tabs on mine.

to make a card file like this one, you'll need the following materials:

cigar box (this one is a 7 inch box, 4 inches tall)

cardboard, watercolor paper, or cereal boxes for 15-20 dividers

cards (these are a 4 x 6 vintage cardstock)

art materials, fabric, or old books to decorate the cardboard

glue, glue sticks, or adhesive that will work with your materials

pencil, scissors, and cutting tool (mat cutter seen below)

optional: materials to decorate the cigar box

step 1: gather your materials. take a deep breath. take another, and another. invite the creative spirit to be with you as you create.

step 2: taking you stack of cardboard or other materials, measure the dividers. the ones here are cut to a 5 1/8 x 6 inches. you can round to 5 x 6 inches if you so choose. you'll see the method below.
step 3: decorating the dividers: option a: if using paper, measure and mark the paper according to the way you want it placed on the card. i liked having some of the cardboard shown, as seen below. cut and paste the paper onto your cardboard divider. i made each of my decorative elements wrap underneath each divider and adhered them onto the back side as well. (option b: using fabric is below)

step 4: the line to the right is marking the 5 1/8 line, as my cardboard was larger than needed. you may have done this in the previous step.

step 5: using the glue bottle on hand, i marked "tabs" in one of four spots on my dividers. you may use more or less according to your preference. the divider itself without the tab measures 4.5 x 6 inches, with the tab extending beyond the 4.5 inches.

step 6: cut along your top edge using your mat cutter, x-acto knife, etc. If using recycled materials such as the organic mac n cheese box below, paper cutting scissors will be enough. i like the straight lines that a blade can provide.

reclaimed boxes or art (below) can also be used as dividers,
watercolors from college that i have saved for years are now 6 dividers.
step 3: option b: if you want to use fabric to cover your dividers as i have done, here are the steps.after making your dividers with tabs, take each divider and glue the fabric to the front side, leaving room to turn the divider over and wrap fabric onto the back.

press out evenly. some glue may squeeze through, and if you don't want to peel the glue off your hands, you can use the base of the glue bottle to smooth out the fabric. using your fabric scissors, trim the fabric along the entire divider.
be careful not to cut the cardboard with your fabric scissors, as you don't want to dull the blade. you may think ahead and trace the divider onto the fabric, cutting it first. either way works.

for the labels, i'm working on circular labels that i'll draw & scan, print & cut and glue onto the files. if i am able to, i'll put the labels on the blog as a download, but no promises.

ta-da. once you have completed the process you'll have a crafty box with sweet dividers in your own style. here you'll see a mix of vintage and modern fabrics that i use in my artwork. i was motivated to decorate the box itself, using leftover pieces of fabric, the watercolors scraps, and a block print incorporated into mixed media.

this project turned out so well that i'll be creating some cigar boxes as mixed media for the holiday shows. some will be project boxes that you can take and make yourself, which i will offer in my etsy shop. i love what creativity can spring forth in a day.

i've also made a pouch to keep cards in for on-the-go travels, which i'll show on another post. cheers.

Sharing a Good Word from the Grapevine

word-of-mouth is my favorite means of hearing about products, artists, etc. my friend EML of The Great Mother mentioned a new system re[frame]: a productivity system for creative people. at first glance, i thought this was one of those organizing systems in which multi-color pens and a three-ring binder would be involved, which is interesting, but overwhelming without personal direction & follow-through. upon further reading and looking at the co-creator's websites, this looks really compelling. lists, which i love, plus the use of modern technology along with the lure of productivity which in my mind = more time to create.

this time of the year makes me want to buy school clothes, gather notebooks, get new pens, and learn. i loved school and still function on the academic calendar. 10 years of college + graduate studies will do that to you. i'm bitten by the back-to-school, teach-me bug. re[frame] seems to offer a chance to learn more productive ways of managing time and process with guided direction while maintaining creative balance. my excitement toward this is growing as i write about it now.

my current process for september: cleaning out. cleaning out negative thoughts, old patterns, unused crafting supplies, unneeded toys, and STUFF that hasn't been touched since it was moved in except to dust. why, i think i've just sold myself this program by sharing the word. it's amazing what thoughts come as you sweep your sidewalk. will let you know what comes...

Project Notebook: Spiritual Zines

using prayers that i write/pray/draw, my newest addition is the creation of art + spirit zines that i will publish and have available during the upcoming holiday season. above you see a "sneak peak" of the first in the art + spirit series. the intersection of art + spirituality happens daily for me. i want the connection, which is so rich and present, to continue to flow within my works + wears that i make available to others for purchase that are meant to bring joy and inspire.

each day brings awareness of the goodness that surrounds me (and each of us). i am so appreciative of my good friends and the care they place on me. good words + kindred spirits surrounded my morning and day. i appreciate days like these where peace can be found.

today, i continue to give thanks for our recent tour of the south, for the goodness of close relationships, and the interconnectedness of God's spirit.

through these experiences, i hope to continue to share and connect with others through my art + experience of life. here's to the days ahead. now for a stroll outdoors to enjoy this cool weather before preparing the evening's meal for the family.