making mudpies (and birthday cakes)

using baking with julia (one of my favorite cookbooks) i made the mocha brownie cake this week as a trial run for joseph's birthday cake. i don't mind making something i've not tried before and then serving it. this recipe, however, looked so good i wanted to try it immediately. last year i made a carrot cake, one that i tweeked before ever tasting...and it was amazing. so, i wanted to try something new. with all of my energy from the womankind retreat, i channeled it into chocolate. if only if only johnny depp was here in character from chocolate to play guitar as i stirred and layered the ganache...

food is very comforting to me. the preparation of food means as much, if not more, to eating foods that bring comfort and pleasure. i take great joy in trying new recipes or recreating dishes that i've had. time doesn't allow for that as often as i'd like, but i certainly relish the opportunity when it comes.

as we have enjoyed this cake throughout the week and shared it with others, we celebrated joseph's presence in our lives. we talk over this yummy dessert with its fabulous icing, looking closely at one another, and really listen to each other speaking from the heart. while i never do much for valentines day, i certainly enjoy doting on the everyday with something special, especially while my fresh roses are still around. here's a great cake. mocha brownie cake. mmm. the vote is that this cake is a little too sophisticate for joseph's 2nd birthday, but will show up again in a variety of forms in the future. i know i'll make this ganache again soon, and it may show up at jo's bday party!

the star topper is my way of combining the concentric circle fabric theme to the bday treats i'll give to folks. these will top the special treat for the adults. (more on that after the bday!) thank you, thesmallobject, for this very special topper idea.

peace.

coming out of hiding

for quite some time i have been in a fog. the winter blues have the best of me and they're not through with me yet. however, a BRIGHT beautiful ray of LiGht burst forth at the 2008 WomanKIND conference. i just got home from the event where professor Azar Nafisi, author of the memoir Reading Lolita in Tehran, was spectacular. the workshops i attended were top notch, but my favorite time during the entire conference is the eucharist & healing service at the close of the time. two hours of song, dance, liturgy, receiving the elements, and receiving prayer...all women's voices. the stoles were made using REAL flowers that had been attached to cloth. the sanctuary was filled with BEAUTIFUL flowers, special handmade banners and paraments (cloths used at the altar, lectern, and to mark scripture). each year (this has met in 2004, 2006, and now 2008) the event has been better. each time my soul is filled and i am renewed.

i am so encouraged by these events. meeting kindred spirits through the movement of the spirit of god. it's almost more than i can describe without sounding flowery and unreal. the young clergywomen's conference last august did the same for me. i treasure the time there, the encouragement received and the kinships formed. i love you ladies.

a project that the church has taken on is to make reusable pads for young women in africa so that when they reach puberty they can continue to attend school. the project is called "pads of power". and yes, it was shouted from the pulpit and i loved it. i'm going to make some and if you're interested in doing so, i have the instructions. they'll package and send them from st. james, so that can be worked out. my heart is in africa, too, and i love contributing in this way. (africa is another story. my grandmother died while i was there the first time. the second time richard proposed to me while on a little island in the middle of a lake. much healing took place while i was in africa.)

for some time i have caught myself saying aloud, "i feel called to minister to women (and especially women in ministry)." i'm not sure where that desire & calling will lead, but i believe in it. i believe in the power of words to create new paths when those words are uttered aloud. i believe that there is something powerful that can take shape when we dream, when we expose ourselves to the power of imagination (more about that to come).

i am a woman, wife, mother, artist, dreamer, lover, cook, creative spirit, friend, comforter, counselor... who is in need of love and attention. i never ask for help, but am learning how. i need help to forge forward in taking a few risks to accomplish my dreams.

for now, i will write because writing gives an account of where we have been (Professor Nafisi would say) and teaches us and future generations how our past shapes us. i will be a truth-teller when i preach, when i teach, and as i live. i have been hiding my words and thoughts. they have been under a veil. i want to be liked and appreciated. somehow i've covered myself in ways that i thought would protect me, but i have hidden from myself. i have withdrawn myself such that at times i don't know who i am anymore. am i a church minister? chaplain? super woman??? i am suzanne. today, that is enough. so, thank you ladies, for helping me to come out of hiding. i felt more at home among hundreds of women today than i have in a long time. their beautiful voices, faces, hands, and feet moved me and exposed me to myself.

and so i mark the occasion with this post. peace.

spring dreams

march 20th seems too far away. the first day of spring. i'm really starting to crave the sun, the wind, the plants. our rosemary is still thriving and some mint is around for my soothing mint-lemon-honey tea. i'm ready to be outside taking pictures, digging in the earth, listening to the birds, running around the yard with joseph. last year's garden was really good and i expect no less this year.

and look at this great garden gnome named gus! i've wanted a gnome, especially after watching amelie for the first time...and fifty times later, still lovin' the gnome. i'm thinking he'll be my inspiration for some new doodles and art pieces. whatcha think?

as for inspiration, i'm really getting into the pottery groove on tuesday mornings. i have thoroughly enjoyed the process of throwing. this week i practiced throwing bowls...even sick they turned out okay. some are more warbles, to use ana's expression for those artistic treasures. others are to be christmas gifts filled to the brim with yummy treats.

i'm on the road to recovery after 2 weeks under the weather. and soon i'll have a post with pictures featuring the great treats that will be at joseph's 2nd birthday party! i've gotten the wooden pieces in the post today that i'll be painting and using in the goodies bags! i really get excited planning his birthday and setting all of that in motion. march 1st will be here too soon!

i heart craft

i'm a little behind the ball...but this looks like a fun time for any/all in the richmond, va area this sunday. crafts + food + cool peeps = a rockin' good time